GlockTalk.com
Home Forums Classifieds Blogs Today's Posts Search Social Groups



  
SIGN-UP
Notices

Glock Talk
Welcome To The Glock Talk Forums.
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 12-27-2012, 17:29   #1
Gunhaver
the wrong hands
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 2,736
Blog Entries: 1
Crazy things that atheists teach their kids.

Just effing with my girl's kids today with some absolute truth,

"You have a grandmother that was a fish."

"What?"

"Your grandmother, she died a long, long time before you were born, and she was your great, great with a whole lot of greats in there, great grandmother but she actually was a fish."

"I don't... What do you mean? She looked like a fish? Granma doesn't look like a fish!"

"Not your mom's mom. She has a mom too, and she had a mom and she had a mom and if you keep tracing back through millions... you remember those really big numbers we talked about? Trace back moms of moms for millions of generations and you'll eventually see your fish great granma if you could watch those generations spin by quickly enough. It's true. It's probably one of the craziest things that's actually true that you'll ever know."

"Wow."

"Yeah, fish granma had it rough. There was always something trying to eat her in the water and she just wanted to lay her fish eggs and have fish babies and eventually some of your fish granmas and fish granpas figured out how to breath out of water like we do so they came up on the banks and decided they liked it there so they stayed."

"Oh, so this was all a really long time ago before I was born?"

"Yep, like the longest time you can imagine. It takes fish forever to have people babies but that's how it happened"


Gotta get em while they're young.

Last edited by Gunhaver; 12-27-2012 at 17:31..
Gunhaver is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-27-2012, 21:00   #2
JBnTX
None
 
JBnTX's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Texas
Posts: 13,832
That was a nice story.
Being the child of an atheist must be a scary world.

That's right little Johnny, all the other kids are wrong.
You're not going to heaven when you die, because that's all a myth believed by ignorant people who don't know any better.

You're descended from apes and when you die, you're dead.
There's no after life, just a black, cold oblivion.

There's no God. There's just a cruel, cold heartless world where you exist until it all just ends one day.

What does the child of an atheist have to look forward to?
How would you explain faith to them?

Do you tell them that other people are just animals, like themselves?

How do you explain why other people celebrate Christmas and Easter?
Do atheist kids say prayers at night?

Now you know why atheists don't want creation taught in schools.

..

Last edited by JBnTX; 12-27-2012 at 21:17..
JBnTX is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-27-2012, 21:23   #3
Geko45
CLM Number 135
Smartass Pilot
 
Geko45's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Short final
Posts: 13,320


Quote:
Originally Posted by JBnTX View Post
Being the child of an atheist must be a scary world.
Indeed, but life is so much more rewarding with the blinders off.
__________________
CavDoc: "If you have to pretend that a person with a different opinion has an opinion other than his own in order to score points in an argument, you've forfeited any points that you pretended to have."
CavDoc: "You consider yourself as non-religious, and I consider you a religious zealot."

JBnTX: "Freedom of religion doesn't mean you can worship any God, anyway you see fit or not even worship any God if you so choose. [...] Christianity should be the only religion protected under the constitution, and congress shall make no law restricting its practice."
Geko45 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-27-2012, 21:39   #4
JBnTX
None
 
JBnTX's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Texas
Posts: 13,832
Quote:
Originally Posted by Geko45 View Post
Indeed, but life is so much more rewarding with the blinders off.

And one of those rewards would be...?
JBnTX is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-27-2012, 21:44   #5
Geko45
CLM Number 135
Smartass Pilot
 
Geko45's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Short final
Posts: 13,320


Quote:
Originally Posted by JBnTX View Post
And one of those rewards would be...?
Well for one, we don't have to shutdown our successful wedding business because the imminent reality of gay marriage threatens our outdated morality code.
__________________
CavDoc: "If you have to pretend that a person with a different opinion has an opinion other than his own in order to score points in an argument, you've forfeited any points that you pretended to have."
CavDoc: "You consider yourself as non-religious, and I consider you a religious zealot."

JBnTX: "Freedom of religion doesn't mean you can worship any God, anyway you see fit or not even worship any God if you so choose. [...] Christianity should be the only religion protected under the constitution, and congress shall make no law restricting its practice."
Geko45 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-27-2012, 22:23   #6
Animal Mother
Not Enough Gun
 
Animal Mother's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 14,815
Quote:
Originally Posted by JBnTX View Post
Now you know why atheists don't want creation taught in schools.

..
It's scientists who don't want creation taught in schools, and the reason for that is that it isn't science. All the other stuff is tangential.
__________________
"Pain, or damage, don't end the world. Or despair. Or beatin's. The world ends when you're dead. Until then, you've got more punishment in store. Stand it like a man, and give some back."
Animal Mother is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 12-27-2012, 23:12   #7
Syclone538
Senior Member
 
Syclone538's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 2,346
I don't think that's the best way to go about it.
__________________
Some people want freedom, even for those they disagree with, and some don't.
Do lot Do so sinh Ban buon quan ao Chup anh cho be
Quote:
Originally Posted by CAcop View Post
...
The constitution is not, nor was it meant to be absolutely literal.
...
Syclone538 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-27-2012, 23:46   #8
JBnTX
None
 
JBnTX's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Texas
Posts: 13,832
I'm just glad my parents took me to church, so that today I have a choice in what I believe.

What choice does the child of an atheist have?
It seems their choice was made for them.
JBnTX is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-27-2012, 23:48   #9
Animal Mother
Not Enough Gun
 
Animal Mother's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 14,815
Quote:
Originally Posted by JBnTX View Post
I'm just glad my parents took me to church, so that today I have a choice in what I believe.

What choice does the child of an atheist have?
It seems their choice was made for them.
How exactly does that work? Did your parents take you to a variety of churches, mosques, temples, and synagogues then also present the atheist position and leave it up to you to choose which you believed?
__________________
"Pain, or damage, don't end the world. Or despair. Or beatin's. The world ends when you're dead. Until then, you've got more punishment in store. Stand it like a man, and give some back."
Animal Mother is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 12-27-2012, 23:55   #10
Lone Wolf8634
Misanthrope
 
Lone Wolf8634's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Under the bus
Posts: 6,539
Quote:
Originally Posted by JBnTX View Post
That was a nice story.
Being the child of an atheist must be a scary world.
Why? Because there's no invisible man in the sky who knows every thought and deed and seems to be just waiting to punish them ?



Quote:
Originally Posted by JBnTX View Post
That's right little Johnny, all the other kids are wrong.
Well, Johnny, there are people that are Muslim, some are Buddhists, some are Christian and there's a whole lot of different kinds of Christians. You have Catholics, Protestants, Lutherans, Baptists, Mormons etc and so on. We just don't believe what they do, just like they all have differences in their beliefs.

Quote:
Originally Posted by JBnTX View Post
You're not going to heaven when you die, because that's all a myth believed by ignorant people who don't know any better.
Pretty much spot on.

Quote:
Originally Posted by JBnTX View Post
You're descended from apes
No problem here either.

Quote:
Originally Posted by JBnTX View Post
and when you die, you're dead.
There's no after life, just a black, cold oblivion.
Actually Johnny, when you die...a long time from now... It'll be exactly the same as before you were born. Do you remember what it was like before you were born? No? Me neither. Thats because we didnt exist. So value the time you have here. Use it well.

Quote:
Originally Posted by JBnTX View Post
There's no God. There's just a cruel, cold heartless world where you exist until it all just ends one day.
No Johnny, there is no God. But the world is a wonderful, mysterious place with much to learn and do so you don't need to be held back by the beliefs of others. The universe offers mysteries that surpass anything that can be found in religion. And maybe you'll be lucky enough to help find the answers.

Quote:
Originally Posted by JBnTX View Post
What does the child of an atheist have to look forward to?
First steps
First day of school
First kiss
First time shooting a gun
First drivers license.
First animal taken while hunting
Friends
First love
First car
Last day of school
Their own children
Retirement
Grandchildren
A peaceful death and no pesky afterlife.

I'm sure I left out a lot, but you get the idea.




Quote:
Originally Posted by JBnTX View Post
How would you explain faith to them?
Easy. Faith is believing in something without evidence.

Quote:
Originally Posted by JBnTX View Post
Do you tell them that other people are just animals, like themselves?
Yup.

Quote:
Originally Posted by JBnTX View Post
How do you explain why other people celebrate Christmas and Easter?
Who said I wouldn't give them Christmas!?!? I loved Christmas as a kid. Holidays serve a far better purpose than simply validating a religion.

Quote:
Originally Posted by JBnTX View Post
Do atheist kids say prayers at night?
Who would they pray to?

Quote:
Originally Posted by JBnTX View Post
Now you know why atheists don't want creation taught in schools.

..
Someone else said it too, SCIENCE doesn't want creationism in schools. I have no problem with it, in a religious studies class.
__________________
"Before diagnosing yourself with depression or low self esteem, be sure that you are not, in fact, surrounded by A-holes." - William Gibson

"Just because I don't care, doesn't mean I don't understand." - Homer Simpson
Lone Wolf8634 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-27-2012, 23:58   #11
Lone Wolf8634
Misanthrope
 
Lone Wolf8634's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Under the bus
Posts: 6,539
Quote:
Originally Posted by Animal Mother View Post
How exactly does that work? Did your parents take you to a variety of churches, mosques, temples, and synagogues then also present the atheist position and leave it up to you to choose which you believed?
I would be curious as well.

FWIW, I encouraged my kid to explore different religions. She went to Catholic, Lutheran, and Baptist services that I know of, probably more, I didn't keep track.

She studied religion in HS and college.

Still ended up an Atheist.
__________________
"Before diagnosing yourself with depression or low self esteem, be sure that you are not, in fact, surrounded by A-holes." - William Gibson

"Just because I don't care, doesn't mean I don't understand." - Homer Simpson
Lone Wolf8634 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-27-2012, 23:59   #12
Gunhaver
the wrong hands
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 2,736
Blog Entries: 1
Quote:
Originally Posted by JBnTX View Post
That was a nice story.
Being the child of an atheist must be a scary world.

That's right little Johnny, all the other kids are wrong.
You're not going to heaven when you die, because that's all a myth believed by ignorant people who don't know any better.
Not really that scary when you have no hell or devil to fear. Even better when you get to go through life actually understanding where we came from and what motivates us towards everything we do. Makes life easier to deal with for me for sure. That's a damn site better than irrationally fearing for my soul because I "sinned" when I played doctor with the neighbor girl when I was 13.

Quote:
Originally Posted by JBnTX View Post
You're descended from apes and when you die, you're dead.
There's no after life, just a black, cold oblivion.
That's pretty much how I lay it out to them. Except I don't get so negative with it. You have beaten the greatest odds by being born a human in the modern world. Best time to live for anyone not just waiting to die and see the next life. You could have been one of those crickets we just fed to your gecko. That would be a pointless life but instead you get a cool human brain and a pair of thumbs to play with for 90 years or so. Make the most of it while you can.

Quote:
Originally Posted by JBnTX View Post
There's no God. There's just a cruel, cold heartless world where you exist until it all just ends one day.
Dang Debbie Downer, take it down a notch. Life is ****ing exciting as could be if you make it that way. Not so much if you have to put arbitrary restrictions on yourself out of faith. You've been dead for billions of years before you were born and that's exactly how much you'll suffer after you die. No big deal. If you play it right then you'll be just about bored to death with it all right about checkout time. Then as you breath your last breaths you can just smile and think of all the BS you'll never have to deal with again.

Quote:
Originally Posted by JBnTX View Post
What does the child of an atheist have to look forward to?
How would you explain faith to them?
No church is sure something to look forward to. I just might drag them into a church someday and make them sit there and listen to the drone. Let them see what they're missing.

Quote:
Originally Posted by JBnTX View Post
Do you tell them that other people are just animals, like themselves?
Yes. I tell them that everyone is an animal and that humans are the coolest kind of animal you can be. Also, many people don't understand this and want to believe it was all just magic because science is hard and they don't want to study it so they just believe a made up story because they can feel like they have things just as figured out as the next guy. I warn them not to be like that and to make sure the things they believe are grounded in reality.


Quote:
Originally Posted by JBnTX View Post
How do you explain why other people celebrate Christmas and Easter?
Do atheist kids say prayers at night?
I tell them that those holidays are nothing special to get excited about. That it's just like the commercials they see on TV where somebody is always trying to sell them stuff and it all builds up and gets out of control for the last 2 months of every year because they really want to sell their stuff that nobody bought all year. We're kind of anti-uselesscrap around here. They did a tree this year just because the little girl thought it would be fun. No god or Santa or baby Jesus. Just a tree and some decorations. I had fun with the lights. Good times.

And I have them praying to Joe Pesci now. They understand it's all a joke but we still find it amusing. They put more faith in fortune cookies than prayer.

Quote:
Originally Posted by JBnTX View Post
Now you know why atheists don't want creation taught in schools.

Oh, I already knew that. It's because I don't want to have to deprogram that junk out of their brains every evening.

..

Last edited by Gunhaver; 12-28-2012 at 00:07..
Gunhaver is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-28-2012, 00:03   #13
Reswob
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: VA
Posts: 1,691
Quote:
Originally Posted by JBnTX View Post
That was a nice story.
Being the child of an atheist must be a scary world.

That's right little Johnny, all the other kids are wrong.
You're not going to heaven when you die, because that's all a myth believed by ignorant people who don't know any better.

You're descended from apes and when you die, you're dead.
There's no after life, just a black, cold oblivion.

There's no God. There's just a cruel, cold heartless world where you exist until it all just ends one day.

What does the child of an atheist have to look forward to?
How would you explain faith to them?

Do you tell them that other people are just animals, like themselves?

How do you explain why other people celebrate Christmas and Easter?
Do atheist kids say prayers at night?

Now you know why atheists don't want creation taught in schools.

..
They'll figure it out eventually anyway, I see no harm in not lying to them.

How do YOU explain why other people celebrate hannukha and why some other people's god tells them to murder everyone who believed differently from themselves?

And of course atheist children don't pray at night. Why would they?

posted using Outdoor Hub Campfire
Reswob is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-28-2012, 00:22   #14
Glock36shooter
Senior Member
 
Glock36shooter's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 3,159
Quote:
Originally Posted by JBnTX View Post
That was a nice story.
Being the child of an atheist must be a scary world.
Not really. But it's actually less intellectually straining to live in reality rather than believe in an invisible man that claims to love us yet does nothing while people suffer. My chick's little girl is type 1 diabetic. Her grandmother forces her to go to church and has done a fairly good job of brainwashing her. And secretly the little girl believed that God was punishing her by giving her diabetes because her grandmother had told her that God could do anything, cure any disease. So logically she put 2 and 2 together and assumed God must be angry with her if he COULD cure her... but chose not to. Of course she never mentioned this to her grandmother because she was afraid of getting in trouble for speaking ill of the Lord. But we explained to her that it's all just nonsense and garbage and that diabetes was simply a genetic error and that no one was angry at her. Just like some of us are short, or bald, or blind, or confined to a wheelchair... genetics do strange things at times. We taught her that it was just her lot in life and that she was going to have to learn to accept it and live as full a life as possible in spite of it. We taught her it's no one's fault and it doesn't mean she's being punished. It just is what it is. She's happier now knowing that it wasn't a punishment or that God could, yet refused to, help her. And now that we've sent her to diabetic camp two years in a row... she has leanred so much about living with and treating her disease. She has learned she's not alone. And she has learned it's just genetics and not a punishment. Living in reality is often easier.

Quote:
That's right little Johnny, all the other kids are wrong.
They are... but because their parents have abused them by brainwashing them with nonsense.

Quote:
You're not going to heaven when you die, because that's all a myth believed by ignorant people who don't know any better.
True.

Quote:
You're descended from apes and when you die, you're dead.
True.

Quote:
There's no after life, just a black, cold oblivion.
No one knows that for sure. But there is no evidence there is anything on the other side but oblivion.

Quote:
There's no God. There's just a cruel, cold heartless world where you exist until it all just ends one day.
You have a pretty dark disposition about the world. I think the world is filled with beauty and life. It's people that are cruel, cold and heartless. The world is marvelous... it's us that crap all over it. We are poison to this world. We're a cancer.

Quote:
What does the child of an atheist have to look forward to?
LIFE you moron. Experiences, love, joy, laughter, sadness, sorrow, compassion, anger, passion, pleasure, regret, friendship, and family. All the wonderful experiences that we have ahead of us in this life. It's only those that are unhappy with their lives that need to feel like there's a second chance somewhere else. People who have wasted this go around.

Quote:
How would you explain faith to them?
Ignorant and delusional thinking based in fear and a lack of education.

Quote:
Do you tell them that other people are just animals, like themselves?
Yes because it's the truth.

Quote:
How do you explain why other people celebrate Christmas and Easter?
That they're national holidays where people can give gifts. And religious people believe in Santa, and The Easter Bunny, and a Super Jewish Zombie.


Quote:
Do atheist kids say prayers at night?
No... why would they? It's no different than talking to yourself.

Quote:
Now you know why atheists don't want creation taught in schools.
Yeah... because it's idiotic nonsense based in nothing resembling actual science.
Glock36shooter is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-28-2012, 08:33   #15
GreenDrake
Rip Lips
 
GreenDrake's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: North Idaho
Posts: 7,635
I live in a pretty conservative area, and there are several fundies in my neighborhood. Our kids all play together and it does come up between them and they ask my son if he believes in god. He flatly says "no, but you are entitled to your beliefs" These are kids whose parents teach them that the world is 6000 years old and that man walked the earth with dinosaurs. Absolutely brainwashed because it is what their parents taught them. I taught my son to respect other's beliefs but that reality lies in proof and factual data, not in books of fairy tales used to control the weak minded with fear and guilt.

We do allow him to be curious, ask questions as well as share the multitudes of other religions in this world. The humor of organized religion is the arrogance that theirs is the one and only true god, if there is one.

I personally liked Bill Maher's take on a god, where he said if god appeared before him as absolute proof of a deity, he would say "huh, there he is, my bad, I believe now". However most of us know that has never happened and will never happen.
__________________
"Can you FLY, Bobby?"
P229 EDC
GreenDrake is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-28-2012, 08:48   #16
RageEffect
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 72
Everyone gets so bitter about this! Some funny reads
RageEffect is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-28-2012, 09:14   #17
Geko45
CLM Number 135
Smartass Pilot
 
Geko45's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Short final
Posts: 13,320


This is what I intend to tell my children.

"This is a natural occurring nuclear fusion reaction of coalesced gases that was most likely formed in accordance with the predictions of the Lambda-CDM model of universal expansion (i.e. the Big Bang) that arose from the inherent quantum instability of a vacuum as described by quantum chromodynamics.

It is also extraordinarily beautiful and I hope you learn to fly one day so you have the opportunity to see it as I have."

Religious Issues
__________________
CavDoc: "If you have to pretend that a person with a different opinion has an opinion other than his own in order to score points in an argument, you've forfeited any points that you pretended to have."
CavDoc: "You consider yourself as non-religious, and I consider you a religious zealot."

JBnTX: "Freedom of religion doesn't mean you can worship any God, anyway you see fit or not even worship any God if you so choose. [...] Christianity should be the only religion protected under the constitution, and congress shall make no law restricting its practice."

Last edited by Geko45; 12-28-2012 at 09:35..
Geko45 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-28-2012, 09:16   #18
series1811
CLM Number
Enforcerator.
 
series1811's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Retired, but not expired.
Posts: 14,311
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gunhaver View Post
Just effing with my girl's kids today with some absolute truth,

"You have a grandmother that was a fish."

"What?"

"Your grandmother, she died a long, long time before you were born, and she was your great, great with a whole lot of greats in there, great grandmother but she actually was a fish."

"I don't... What do you mean? She looked like a fish? Granma doesn't look like a fish!"

"Not your mom's mom. She has a mom too, and she had a mom and she had a mom and if you keep tracing back through millions... you remember those really big numbers we talked about? Trace back moms of moms for millions of generations and you'll eventually see your fish great granma if you could watch those generations spin by quickly enough. It's true. It's probably one of the craziest things that's actually true that you'll ever know."

"Wow."

"Yeah, fish granma had it rough. There was always something trying to eat her in the water and she just wanted to lay her fish eggs and have fish babies and eventually some of your fish granmas and fish granpas figured out how to breath out of water like we do so they came up on the banks and decided they liked it there so they stayed."

"Oh, so this was all a really long time ago before I was born?"

"Yep, like the longest time you can imagine. It takes fish forever to have people babies but that's how it happened"


Gotta get em while they're young.
WTF? I know I shouldn't encourage him, but really, WTF?
__________________
I sure miss the country I grew up in.
series1811 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-28-2012, 09:34   #19
Gunhaver
the wrong hands
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 2,736
Blog Entries: 1
Quote:
Originally Posted by series1811 View Post
WTF? I know I shouldn't encourage him, but really, WTF?
It's true. Do you see the elongated Fibonacci curve? That's how you know they're on to something.
http://www.lucasbrouwers.nl/blog/wp-.../Evo_large.gif

Follow the branch along the bottom from humans all the way back to the ocean's rust. That's our lineage. Your great grandmother (and grandfather) if you go back far enough looked like reptiles, then further back like amphibians (more newt than frog likely) and further back still very fishy. It's true. If you don't believe me then stick around the GT Evolution Forum and let us educate you.

Crazy truth is CRAZY! Stranger than fiction even.

Last edited by Gunhaver; 12-28-2012 at 09:38..
Gunhaver is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On

Forum Jump




All times are GMT -6. The time now is 01:48.



Homepage
FAQ
Forums
Calendar
Advertise
Gallery
GT Wiki
GT Blogs
Social Groups
Classifieds


Users Currently Online: 808
185 Members
623 Guests

Most users ever online: 2,244
Nov 11, 2013 at 11:42