A challenge to Iraq and Taliban
Dear Saddam Hussein and Sons; remaining Taliban and Osama Bin Laden:
We are pleased to announce that we unequivocally accept your challenge
old-fashioned game of whoop-ass. Now that we understand the rule, that
are no rules, we look forward to playing without them for the first
Since this game is a winner-take-all, we unfortunately are unable to
you to join us at the victory celebration. But rest assured that we
toast you -- LITERALLY. While we will admit that you are off to an
impressive lead, it is however now our turn at the plate. By the way,
will be playing on your diamond now... Batter up!
Our team line up is as follows:
Club Owner ~ Lucifer
Manager ~ George W. Bush
Ass't Manager ~ Dick Cheney
Head Coach ~ Colin Powell
Assistant Coach ~ Donald Rumsfeld
Starting Pitcher ~ Tommy Franks
1st Base ~ U. S. Marine Corps
2nd Base ~ U. S. Nav y
3rd Base ~ U.S. Air Force
Shortstop and clean up hitter ~ U. S. Army
Outfield ~ Firemen and Policemen
Umpire ~ None Required - remember - the manager gave you ample time to
forfeit the game. Now it's too late for discussion. He told you
no further negotiations or diplomacy!
Pinch hitters as needed ~
U.S. Navy SEALS
U.S. Army Green Berets
U.S. Army Rangers
U.S. Air Force PJs
And, since there are no rules, we've decided to add:
4th Base ~ United Kingdom and
5th Base ~ Spain
Vocal 1: The Star Spangled Banner. Ya'll stand, face the American flag
place your right hand over your heart and sing.
Vocal 2: Lee Greenwood ~ God Bless The U.S.A.
Vocal 3: Neil Diamond ~ Comin' To America
Vocal 4: Bruce Springstein ~ Born In The U.S.A.
Vocal 5: The Mormon Tabernacle Choir ~ Battle Hymn of the Republic
Vocal 6: Toby Keith ~ The ANGRY AMERICAN
You may choose whoever you want for your team ... France I know has
coaching you and Germany, Russia and China will at least be cheering
you. You can even get the Dixie Chicks to sing your national anthem.
might even find some human shields in Hollywood. There are many
stars who seem to really love you. I'm sure they would like to play on
team and we'll be glad to let you have them.
It won't really matter how many useful idiots you get on your side and
if you all shave), our guys are gonna win!!!
On behalf of the 270,000,000 Citizens of the United States of America
May we recommend at this time that you give your soul to Allah;...
your ass is ours! Goodbye!
The Tao that can be spoken is not the eternal Tao -first sentence in the Tao Te Ching