Letter to manufacturer of Tide
Dear Sir or Madame,
I'm writing to say what an excellent product you have. I've used it since the beginning of married life, when my Mom told me it was the best. In fact, about a month ago, while at my mother-in-law's house, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse. She started to berate me about my drinking problem. One thing lead to another and I ended up with a lot of her blood on my white blouse, as well.
I tried to get the stain out using her bargain detergent, but it just wouldn't come out. On my way home, I stopped and got a bottle of liquid Tide with bleach, and all of the stains came out! They came out so well, in fact, that the DNA tests were negative!
I thank you, once again, for a great product. Well, gotta go, I have to write a letter to the Hefty bag people...
"Political Correctness is a doctrine fostered by a delusional, illogical, liberal minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end."