The opposite of Rednecks.
Bluenecks are Northerners --- the opposite of Rednecks.
YOU JUST MIGHT BE A BLUENECK IF...
....Instead of referring to two or more people as "y'all," you call
them "you guys," even if both of them are women.
....You think barbecue is a verb meaning "to cook outside."
....You think Heinz Ketchup is really SPICY.
....You would never stop to buy something somebody was cooking on the side of the road. (e.g., boiled peanuts) .
....You don't have any problems pronouncing "Worcestershire sauce"
....For breakfast, you would prefer potatoes-au-gratin to grits.
....You don't know what a moon pie is.
....You've never had an RC Cola.
....You've never, ever eaten okra -- fried, boiled, or pickled.
....You eat fried chicken with a knife and fork.
....You've never seen a live chicken, and the only cows you've seen
are on road trips.
....You have no idea what a polecat is.
....You don't see anything wrong with putting a sweater on your dog.
....You don't have bangs.
....You would rather vacation at Martha's Vineyard than at Six Flags.
....You would rather have your son become a lawyer than grow up to get
his own TV fishing show.
....You drink either "Pop" or "Soda"- instead of "Cokes."
....You've never eaten a tomato sandwich nor do you know how to make one!
....You have never planned your summer vacation around a gun-'n-knife
....You think more money should go to important scientific research at
your university than to pay the salary of the head football coach
....You don't even have one can of WD-40 somewhere around the house.
....The last time you smiled was when you blocked someone from getting
on an on-ramp to the highway.
....You don't have any hats in your closet that advertise feed stores.
....You have more than one professional sports team in your home
....The farthest south you've ever been is the perfume counter at
....You call binoculars opera glasses.
....You can't spit out the car window without pulling over to the side of
the road and stopping.
....You don't know anyone with at least two first names (i.e., Joe Bob,
Faye Ellen, Billy Ray, Mary Jo, Bubba Dean, Joe Dan, Mary Alice)
....You don't know any women with male names (i.e., Tommie, Bobbie,
....You don't have Maw-maw's & Paw-paw's.
....You've never been to a craft show.
....You get freaked out when people on the subway talk to you.
....None of your fur coats are homemade.
....You have no idea who the Allisons or Pettys are
Don't dial 911, dial 1911
If you don't stand behind our troops, PLEASE feel free to stand in front of them!
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