[VANMAN]

Two alligators were sitting at the side of the swamp near Washington, DC. The smaller one turned to the bigger one and said, "I can't understand how you can be so much bigger than me. We're the same age, we were the same size as kids. I just don't get it."

"Well," said the big 'gator, "What you been eating?"

"Congressmen, same as you," replied the small 'gator.

"Hmm. Well, where do you catch 'em?"

"Down at the other side of the swamp near the parking lot of by the capitol."

"Same here. Hmm. How do you catch them?"

"Well, I crawl up under a Lexus and wait for someone to unlock the door. Then I jump out, grab them on the leg, shake the crap out of them, and eat them."

"Ah!" says the big alligator, "I think I see your problem. You aren't getting any real nourishment. See, by the time you get done shaking the crap out of a congressman, there ain't nothing left but lips and a briefcase."