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Old 04-11-2003, 10:11   #1351
Tazz10m
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We found the problem on the beer concession for last weekend's blowout. A full explanation will be published when the celebrants who attended the party are sober enough to understand it.
That is the biggest cop-out i've heard in a long time! The "celebrants" will most likely never be sober enough for you (you tee-totaling little weasle!) and are quite experienced and capable of comprehending whatever little excuse you come up with. You've had plenty of time to file your report, now let's hear it before i have you chained to Mongo's personal dungeon toilet!
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Old 04-12-2003, 12:43   #1352
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The only noted problem with the beer concession was a distinct LACK of quantity!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Old 04-20-2003, 13:39   #1353
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Originally posted by Tazz10m
That is the biggest cop-out i've heard in a long time! The "celebrants" will most likely never be sober enough for you (you tee-totaling little weasle!) and are quite experienced and capable of comprehending whatever little excuse you come up with.
Damn! The Penthouse gang has finally seen through my favorite "sobriety requirement" shtick! Have to get the Dungeon Legal Staff to work cooking up some more excuses ...

(Rabbi! You're LOSING it! All that time in therapy in Anthrax / Spandex / Whatever has blunted the keen edge of your usually perceptive insight into the workings of the magnificient organization that the 10-Ring Facility has become. It is NO LONGER the 45-vs-10mm rivalry that drives this marvelous establishment! It is now the SYNERGY, the SYMBIOSIS, the whatever the latest buzzword for mutually beneficial cooperation, that now drives this world-class outfit! The two sides RELISH the little ideosyncracies that both demonstrate during the administration of our mega-resort. What does this mean for right now? No doubletalk for why there were only 10 kinds of beer at the blowout instead of the usual 12. Just give the reasons why the error was made! The Penthouse types who are capable of understanding the sequence of events may even get a kick out of it!) ...

Hmmmm. You're right. I was more concerned about keeping the legal department working than I should have been. All right, 10-Ringers, here is what happened:

As some 10-Ringers may remember, the Beer Acquisition Procedure was amended at the November 30 Penthouse Board Meeting. While responsibility for CHOOSING the beer selection remained with the Penthouse types, the actual ACQUISITION of the selected menu became a DUNGEON administrative duty. Everyone recognized the difficulty of finding a sober Penthouse rep to sign the purchase orders.

This system worked beautifully for several months. Then, the previously noted problem occured. Here is why.

The Dungeon Crew staffer was on his way to fulfill the Beer Requisition when he encountered 5 Penthouse residents in the atrium. Why is that a big deal? ALL FIVE WERE SOBER! Not only sober, but engaged in a marvelously lucid discussion about Immanuel Kant's philosophical distinction between the ideal and corporeal levels of existence.

Our staffer was totally wigged out by this improbable encounter. When he arrived at the beer staging area, he made a mistake. He chose the "SUPPLEMENTARY Plenipotentiary Tribunal" level-of-event classification for that weekend's events, which, as most 10-Ringers may recall, rates only 10 varieties of beer at the blowouts, instead of the higher rated "SPECIAL Plenipotentiary Tribunal" entry, the PROPER choice for that weekend, which carries the more desirable 12 beer variety ranking.

Such was the SOURCE of the original error. It was compounded by two additional oversights. 1) A Dungeon staffer who should have verified the original rating choice was enjoying the intimate attentions of one of the lagoon hostesses, and 2) another Dungeon staffer who should have rechecked everything was actually at the Range trying out a Glock 20 and a case of original full-power fist-of-God NORMA 10mm loads. His reaction: "10mm ROCKS!" He was so into it, he refused to stop shooting until the entire case was gone! He therefore returned too late to find the mis-classification.

Such is the string of events that led to the beer selection shortage at the weekend blowout. Those of us in the Dungeon who are responsible place ourselves at your mercy for disposition of this case.

Last edited by samurairabbi; 04-20-2003 at 13:43..
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Old 04-23-2003, 00:02   #1354
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Talk about calling the powder black and then jumping out into the pan and getting sparked into a fire. Somebody give Samurai the Breath-a-lie-zer test! "Sober"? I think not. Review the Dungeon Living Arrangement (read "reasons you're still alive and allowed to live in our 5 Star dungeon") posted on your cell wall and i think you find very early on that there is to be 10 varieties of the best brews from each the 10 best breweries from each of the 4 compass points in the world for a total of 400 different brews!

Yer slack'n dude!

Fix it... or surely the chains of Mongo's favorite dungeon toilet will await you.

Your penalty to be paid is for you to go out and buy a 10mm and put 10 boxes of full power 10mm ammo through it every day for each day of 10 days. You have 10 days to pay this penalty, so you better get on it.

10 or 12 different beers... ;Q
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Last edited by Tazz10m; 04-23-2003 at 00:08..
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Old 04-25-2003, 22:40   #1355
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znaaazz
Remember folks, you heard it here first.

I would like to announce the birth of my twin baby girls here on the 10 Ring, in the Venerable 8:40 PM thread first.
They are a little over 5 weeks early but are doing well and I expect them both home with Mom and myself by the end of next week.
Erin Elizabeth is 3lb 12 oz
Lindsey Nichole is 4 lb 2 oz
I am already starting the savings account for their first 10mms, followed closely by their first AR-15s Luckily Cavalry Arms makes ARs in pink!!!!!
As I already have a son who just turned 15 months old I am going to be making an appointment with Dr. Vasectomy real soon
Wish me luck, 3 in diapers is gonna be lots and lots of fun.

Oh by the way, yes,,, I am really serious...

Regards
Q
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Old 04-26-2003, 19:09   #1356
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Q-Ball....
Magnun congratulations are in order here !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Best wishes & good health to all!

Since you will soon be learning the true meaning of poverty, perhaps a do-it-yourself vasectomy kit should be forwarded to you. Since you already are the proud owner of a 10MM, 2(two) rounds of Federal Hydra-Shok should be sent to you ASAP. At least this will keep the cost to a managable level.
To the best of my knowledge, there isn't a high capacity diaper magazine avaliable, so you will soon be learning how to make fast,tactical un-loads, in all kinds of strange positions & locations.

Best, with love,

uncle albert

p.s. I'm past this stage, my youngest is almost 26.......
u.a.;a
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Old 04-26-2003, 21:21   #1357
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Diaper changing doesn't get any worse than my son, because of him I have mastered the hand to hand diaper change. He is a great kid, good natured, everything you could want, but he hates to have his diaper changed. After 15 months of him I am pretty sure I could put 8 or 10 hostile ninjas in diapers. ;Q

Q
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Old 04-30-2003, 22:19   #1358
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;+ CONGRATULATIONS Q!!! ;+

;Y Time for another party!!! ;Y
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Old 05-14-2003, 20:15   #1359
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Quote:
Originally posted by Tazz10m
;+ CONGRATULATIONS Q!!! ;+

;Y Time for another party!!! ;Y
While I certainly agree congrats are in order for the venerable Q-Ball ( who should be and probably is an example to us all)and that it is a cause for celebration, is it actually possible to have a party that won't just be overwhelmed by the other patry (parties?) already in progress? (some of which have been so since before the penthouse was complete I'd be willing to wager, if the payoff wasn't so meager)

Also it would probably be extremely difficult to have said celebration without the guest of honor ( who I assume is very busy changing diapers for two (or 3 depending on how much Mrs. Q-Ball is being pampered)

However I think it can be done so I would like to make a couple of suggestions.

1. For this to be a truly memorable blowout I wonder if the beer is going to be enough. The requisition should include as much premium (what else?) whiskey, scotch, bourbon, vodka, gin, rum (both dark AND light) ad infinitum, You get the point. All this in addition to the beer and Sammy's recommendations on wine. (if of course I have been redundant well what can I say, I've been spending time working and of course have been killing brain cells in the process (not to worry though Kenya AA and Kona Gold coffee bean shipment for God's Blessing (Irish coffee for the...ahem..uninitiated) will revive the aforementioned braincells.

Sorry.

2. Caretakers for the kids. (If all planning was left to me I would be beggin' the Tigress for input and then follow her recommendations to the letter)

3. Personal caretakers for the guests of honor to insure that no need or request goes unfulfilled. I would even take this job myself but for the fact that I would be setting myself up to fail which would detract from teir enjoyment of the event.

4. Hmmmm......... I'm sure I haven't thought of something but I'll post again with other thoughts. 'Till then.

;Y
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Old 05-14-2003, 21:47   #1360
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Thanks all, I have only one request for the party, Bacardi 151, and LOTS of it. That and if anyone knows a good urologist that would be helpful too. I ned an appointmant with Dr. Vasectomy!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Old 05-15-2003, 20:01   #1361
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Q-Ball most honorable drinking sir that finest of Puerto Rican beverages is exactly what I was thinking of when I mentioned rum. I am pleased that your taste is as refined as I had assumed. Please rest I assured that I will make every effort ( and then some ) to ensure that you have more than you could possibly consume available at such a bash. And after the party .......a party end? Does this concept even exist at the lagoon? I would seriously doubt it....I will personally see to it that whatever remains is kept safe should you require more whether in or out of the lagoon.

As to the Urologist you requested no worries. As a member of the penthouse crew I believe you have full access to the 10 Ring Medical Facilities which is staffed by (of course) the most knowledgeable and skilled members of the medical community in existence. Also the facilities themselves are the most modern in existence ( again of course).

;Y
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Old 05-16-2003, 18:22   #1362
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Q Ball,
How soon do we get to see pictures of the new shooters?

Also, given the relative size, are they refered to as .10 ringers??

Hope all are well & happy!


uncle albert
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Old 05-24-2003, 18:06   #1363
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Permit me to take a break from the weekend blowout honoring Q-Ball and the reinforcements to his family. You 10-Ringers can keep on with your partying; this is just a boring bland administrative post of interest only to the Dungeon types that keep the place running.

Yo, 45Ranger! I sense some mental confusion on your part concerning the issue of a 10-Ring party "ending". Permit me to enlighten you on the important details of this issue.

10-Ring parties DO end, contrary to the muddled 10-Ring thinking that believes the partying in this fine facility is endless. We Dungeon types have things set up so they can plausibly BELIEVE the partying is endless! We developed a marvelous ... (Yo, Rabbi! You did not ask the 10-Ring's pardon for that redundancy!) ... WHAT redundancy? ... (That "muddled 10-Ring thinking" one) ... Oh! Right! Pardon my redundancy. I guess working infield traffic at the speedway this month has blunted my perceptiveness.

Anyway, 45Ranger, here is how we work it. Every 10-Ring party is proceeded by a PRE-party, and followed by a POST-party. This is a system we used in my college days. The skilled Dungeon administration is able to blend the sequence of pre-party, party, and post-party SO SEAMLESSLY that the inebriated 10-Ringers present at the weekend blowouts simply do not notice the transitions! This way, THEY are happy, and the famous 10-Ring facility rep for non-stop action is maintained. We can keep up our embezz ... (Rabbi, you did it again! "... inebriated 10-Ringers ..."! APOLOGIZE for the damn redundancy! Sure we steal them blind, but that does NOT absolve up of our duty to treat the Penthouse types graciously and maintain protocol in our dealings with them!) ... You're right AGAIN. Pardon my redundancy.

Hope this "endless party" explanation makes sense, Ranger. When the race is over, I will publish my reply to Tazz about the beer selection issue. I am holding off on THAT post until I have a really devastating plausibility/doubletalk combination ready to roll.

Last edited by samurairabbi; 05-24-2003 at 18:11..
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Old 05-24-2003, 23:12   #1364
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Quote:
Originally posted by .45Ranger
As to the Urologist you requested no worries. As a member of the penthouse crew I believe you have full access to the 10 Ring Medical Facilities which is staffed by (of course) the most knowledgeable and skilled members of the medical community in existence. Also the facilities themselves are the most modern in existence (again of course).

;Y
Yeah, Mongo in a backroom with a pair of Samurai's rusty side-cutters!;P

Better get plenty loaded up on that 151 before you step into Mongo's Never-Never Land! ;L

(Mongo --> ;p)
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Old 05-25-2003, 00:16   #1365
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Perp pet chew all party... YEAH!!! ;=

It's the American way! ;f
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Find out what all the fuzz is about... seriously... get AGrip!

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AGripô Installation Video
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Old 06-02-2003, 02:23   #1366
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Originally posted by Tazz10m
Perp pet chew all party... YEAH!!! ;=
Note to 45Ranger:

Just a followup to my previous memo. As you can see, the "non-stop" appearance of the 10-Ring Facility partying has been maintained SO SUCCESSFULLY that even the supreme number-one Grand Poobah HIMSELF believes it to be true! A triumph of marketing.

The Dungeon work in this area is, however, not yet complete. The transition between the POST-party to the PREVIOUS party, and the PRE-party to the NEXT party, is not yet as graceful and seamless as we party afficianados would ideally expect. The Dungeon Crew is dilligently working on a solution to this "condition".
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Old 06-02-2003, 10:01   #1367
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Originally posted by samurairabbi
Note to 45Ranger:

Just a followup to my previous memo. As you can see, the "non-stop" appearance of the 10-Ring Facility partying has been maintained SO SUCCESSFULLY that even the supreme number-one Grand Poobah HIMSELF believes it to be true! A triumph of marketing.

The Dungeon work in this area is, however, not yet complete. The transition between the POST-party to the PREVIOUS party, and the PRE-party to the NEXT party, is not yet as graceful and seamless as we party afficianados would ideally expect. The Dungeon Crew is dilligently working on a solution to this "condition".

That's because the Supreme Number-One Grand Poobah HIMSELF parties in perpetuity. Even if the whole world stops partying, he will continue to party alone if need be. The problem the Dungeoneers have is that they don't understand this way of life as they just don't know how to have real fun. They have no real sense of Life. If they did, each would go out and get a 10! ;+
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AGripô Installation Video
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Old 06-03-2003, 03:48   #1368
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Even if the whole world stops partying, he will continue to party alone if need be.
Ahhhh, grasshopper! What is the sound of one 10-Ringer partying?!
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Old 06-03-2003, 09:50   #1369
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Ahhhh, grasshopper! What is the sound of one 10-Ringer partying?!
Ahhhh, young flea baby, often the sound can be mistaken for a full blown 10-Ring Shin-Dig!

When you are able to accept this sushi from my chop-sticks, without dropping it, partayke of it, and pass it on, then you will be ready to stay. ;K



Tiger Girl, please pass the sushi.
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Celebrating 20 Years of helping good people get AGripô!

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AGripô Installation Video
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Old 06-03-2003, 11:04   #1370
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Originally posted by Tazz10m
Ahhhh, young flea baby, often the sound can be mistaken for a full blown 10-Ring Shin-Dig!
If a 10-Ringer stands alone in the woods, with NO Dungeon Crew for logistics support, then is he still inebriated?
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Old 06-03-2003, 16:11   #1371
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If he's standing ALONE, probably not


However, if he's leaning at 10 degrees or more, he's about normal (for a 10-Ringer)& therefore inibreiatedededed......

(age old question..Does a bear drink in the woods? Does a bear drink beer in the woods?) beechwood? Tiger Woods?;c ;c ;c ;c ;c ;c ;g
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Old 06-04-2003, 09:12   #1372
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Quote:
Originally posted by samurairabbi
If a 10-Ringer stands alone in the woods, with NO Dungeon Crew for logistics support, then is he still inebriated?
A 10-Ringer is never alone in the woods, aye, with friendly 10, and that 10 alone is a friendly high and inebriation plenty.
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Celebrating 20 Years of helping good people get AGripô!

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AGripô Installation Video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SlnDjdfWkLY


Never let anyone who is clueless about defense tell you what you can and can't do to protect yourself and others.

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Old 06-04-2003, 22:12   #1373
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Originally posted by Tazz10m
A 10-Ringer is never alone in the woods, aye, with friendly 10, and that 10 alone is a friendly high and inebriation plenty.
Damn, Tazz! The Dungeon Propaganda crowd is sitting here truly amazed at the subtly nuanced vaguely coherent rant you put together in that post! We did not begin to believe you could produce such a polished kumbaya-singing psycho-babble spouting plausibly-incoherent edition like that. If you ever want to moonlight to pick up a few extra bucks, keep our Progaganda Brigade in mind! We could use a little Penthouse representation on board.
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Old 06-06-2003, 21:40   #1374
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Honorable S.Rabbi....
Not to fear, we have it on good authority that Tazz didn't author the prose in question. We have reason to belive that he mugged a borg for such a coherant rant.


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Old 06-06-2003, 23:36   #1375
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Be amazed... be very, very amazed... (that way i'll get paid more money if i ever get paid for this kind of psycho-babel...)

Koom bye yah, baby, koom bye yah.

As for the Borg, the Borg aint.
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Celebrating 20 Years of helping good people get AGripô!

Find out what all the fuzz is about... seriously... get AGrip!

Brooks W. Speier
www.BrooksTactical.com Official AGripô Manufacturer Website

AGripô Installation Video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SlnDjdfWkLY


Never let anyone who is clueless about defense tell you what you can and can't do to protect yourself and others.

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