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Old 01-13-2013, 22:22   #16726
ChuteTheMall
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MOVED to Page 670
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Old 01-13-2013, 23:11   #16727
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~ And Then There Were None ~

The 10 Ring

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Old 01-14-2013, 19:19   #16728
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Oh Bother !
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Old 01-16-2013, 17:23   #16729
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AWNAA (Americans With No Abilities Act).... POI
CLASSIC!"President Barack Obama and the Democratic Senate are considering sweeping legislation that will provide new benefits for many Americans. The Americans With No Abilities Act is being hailed as a major legislative goal by advocates of the millions of Americans who lack any real skills or ambition."Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the competence and drive necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in society," said California Sen. Barbara Boxer. "We can no longer stand by and allow People of Inability (POI) to be ridiculed and passed over. With this legislation, employers will no longer be able to grant special favors to a small group of workers, simply because they have some idea of what they are doing."In a Capitol Hill press conference, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid pointed to the success of the U.S. Postal Service, which has a long-standing policy of providing opportunity without regard to performance. At the state government level, the Department of Motor Vehicles also has an excellent record of hiring Persons with No Ability (63 percent).Under the Americans With No Abilities Act, more than 25 million mid-level positions will be created, with important-sounding titles but little real responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of purpose and performance.Mandatory non-performance-based raises and promotions will be given to guarantee upward mobility for even the most unremarkable employees. The legislation provides substantial tax breaks to corporations that promote a significant number of Persons of Inability (POI) into middle-management positions, and give a tax credit to small and medium-sized businesses that agree to hire one clueless worker for every two talented hires.Finally, the Americans With No Abilities Act contains tough new measures to make it more difficult to discriminate against the non-abled, banning, for example, discriminatory interview questions such as, "Do you have any skills or experience that relate to this job?""As a non-abled person, I can't be expected to keep up with people who have something going for them," said Mary Lou Gertz, who lost her position as a lug-nut twister at the GM plant in Flint, Mich., due to her inability to remember righty tighty, lefty loosey. "This new law should be real good for people like me. I finally have job security." With the passage of this bill, Gertz and millions of other untalented citizens will finally see a light at the end of the tunnel.Said Sen. Dick Durbin: "As a senator with no abilities, I believe the same privileges that elected officials enjoy ought to be extended to every American with no abilities. It is our duty as lawmakers to provide each and every American citizen, regardless of his or her inadequacy, with some sort of space to take up in this great nation and a good salary for doing so."We have kick-started this program byhaving a POI in the White-house.

Rabbi, somebody's beem reading your play book of dungeon etiquette!
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Old 01-16-2013, 17:46   #16730
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We're not worried about security leaks of our Dungeon operating guides. As the old Mark Twain joke concludes: They know the words, but they can't carry the tune!
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Old 01-16-2013, 20:04   #16731
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The AWNAA is just the result of program for those people that was started with good intentions. I was originally called "Congress" where the people would elect the village idiot and send them off to pretend to do something and give their pointless lives a bit of meaning.
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Old 01-16-2013, 20:08   #16732
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paragraphs.

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Old 01-16-2013, 20:16   #16733
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Or the tuna !
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Old 01-17-2013, 09:06   #16734
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Quote:
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paragraphs.

No, its just like Government...out of both sides of their mouths spewing trash talk!
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Old 01-17-2013, 12:58   #16735
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Oh, like a used car salesman ??
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Old 01-18-2013, 23:37   #16736
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Old 01-19-2013, 19:20   #16737
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The popcorn's gone, you heard him, GO HOME !
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Old 01-20-2013, 08:11   #16738
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Do you think this is on FindSwine's Ban List?
The 10 Ring
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Old 01-20-2013, 17:58   #16739
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Do you think this is on FindSwine's Ban List?
The 10 Ring
Since the liberal fascists learned everything they know about guns from Hollywood films, if it was in a movie, they'll try and ban it.

Look at some of the nonsense they have banned in the past.

Flashhiders: (prevents the shooter from being distracted by the flash, but I get the impression that politicians think it makes the shooter invisible).

Sawed off shotguns: (Essentially a low pressure shotgun, but politicians have this confused with a shotgun with no choke).

High flow toilets: (Essentially requiring us to have toilets that need to be flushed three times).

Propane powered vehicles are illegal in California: (These clean running vehicles produce little pollution and are so clean the engine life is extended, yet they you can't register one in CA).
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Old 01-20-2013, 18:17   #16740
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Propane powered vehicles are illegal in California: (These clean running vehicles produce little pollution and are so clean the engine life is extended, yet they you can't register one in CA).
I cannot go without mentioning outlawing regular old-fashioned lightbulbs thus mandating the use of the new expensive high tech ones with mercury in them. You have to call a haz-mat team if the break and how many of them end up in landfills or in the environment.?
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Old 01-20-2013, 18:30   #16741
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And since mercury is on the "bad" list, no mfg'r. can build them here.

Guess where children ????????????


That's right Boys & Girls, our friends in CHINA.

Isn't that just swell ?


uncle albert
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Old 01-20-2013, 18:51   #16742
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No pun intended,but there is a bright light on the horizon. If (and when) the prices on LEDs come down, and maybe when they can make them so they give off a little more light, we can replace those nasty fluorescents. The thing that irks me, is LEDs consume so little power, and last for over twenty years, so if the government hadn't passed another stupid law, they could have simply educated the public to the advantages and let the free market take its course.

I've heard that people are trying to get around the incandescent bulb laws by selling them as space heaters. btw, how will I repair my Suzy Homemaker oven now?
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Old 01-20-2013, 19:14   #16743
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here is where they intend on putting us!
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Old 01-20-2013, 19:21   #16744
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No pun intended,but there is a bright light on the horizon. If (and when) the prices on LEDs come down, and maybe when they can make them so they give off a little more light, we can replace those nasty fluorescents. The thing that irks me, is LEDs consume so little power, and last for over twenty years, so if the government hadn't passed another stupid law, they could have simply educated the public to the advantages and let the free market take its course.

I've heard that people are trying to get around the incandescent bulb laws by selling them as space heaters. btw, how will I repair my Suzy Homemaker oven now?

There will still be politicians and do-gooders to muckle things up
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Old 01-21-2013, 16:43   #16745
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Bud the Cowboy

(your smile for theday)



A cowboynamed Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in Montana whensuddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust.

The driver, a young man in a Brioni® suit, Gucci® shoes, RayBan® sunglassesand YSL® tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, "If I tell youexactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me acalf?"

Bud looks at the man, who obviously is a yuppie, then looks at hispeacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, why not?"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell® notebook computer, connects itto his Cingular RAZR V3® cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet,where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which hethen feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in anultra-high-resolutionphoto.

The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop® and exportsit to an image processing facility in Hamburg,Germany.

Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot® that the image hasbeen processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL® databasethrough an ODBC connected Excel® spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry® and,after a few minutes, receives aresponse.

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech,miniaturized HP LaserJet® printer, turns to the cowboy and says, "You haveexactly 1,586 cows and calves."

"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves,"says Bud.




Hewatches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement asthe young man stuffs it into the trunk of hiscar.

Then Bud says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly whatyour business is will you give me back mycalf?"

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, whynot?"



"You're a Congressman for the U.S.


Government",says Bud.

"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie; "but how did youguess that?"



"No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed uphere even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer Ialready knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars worthof equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don'tknow a thing about how working people make a living - or about cows, for thatmatter. This is a herd of sheep.
Now give me back my dog.”




AND THAT, FOLKS, IS WHAT THE

PROBLEM IS ALL ABOUT
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Old 01-21-2013, 19:17   #16746
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Cowboys, sheep, dogs, cows and calves, congessmen, and AWNAA...Holy sweet liberal jeezus i am finally starting to understand you ten ringers after scratching my head for two years watching this thread...irrisputably !
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Old 01-21-2013, 19:40   #16747
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dryfly,

It would be to your advantage to go to the beginning & read this entire thread.
Not only for the deep humor contained within, but to give you some insight as to the actual intelligence of those of us here. Even when joking, we contain enough knowledge to scare mere mortals. No brag, just fact.

And if you like sci-fi, by ALL means, read the books by member MinervaDoe. Chronos is excellent, and relevent !

uncle albert
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Old 01-21-2013, 19:52   #16748
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It's best to speed read it all in one sitting, even if you have to miss a day or two from work. The momentum helps.
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Old 01-21-2013, 20:02   #16749
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I figured that once he got started,he wouldn't be able to stop anyhow !



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Old 01-21-2013, 20:05   #16750
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For a truly deep and transcendental understanding of the thread, don't merely read it; translate it into pig latin.

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