Jesus and Satan were having an ongoing argument about
who was better at using computers. They had been
going at it for days, and God was tired of hearing all
the bickering. Finally, God said, "Cool it. I am going
to set up a test which will take two hours and it will
judge who does the better job."
So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed
They did spreadsheets.
They wrote reports.
They sent faxes.
They sent e-mails.
They sent out e-mails with attachments.
They did some genealogy reports.
They made cards.
They did every known job.
But, ten minutes before the time was up, lightning
suddenly flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, the
rain poured, and of course, the electricity went off.
Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every
curse word known in the underworld.
Jesus just sighed.
The electricity finally flickered back on, and each of
them restarted their computers. Satan started
searching, frantically screaming, "It's gone! It's all
gone! I lost everything when the power went out!"
Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his
files from the past two hours.
Satan observed this and became even more irate. "Wait!
He cheated! How did he do it??!!"
God shrugged and said, "Jesus Saves."
"One handgun a month is too much."
"If you ask me, 12 handguns/year is too much."
"I'd be OK with one gun a year."
"We need the strong gun regs and enforcement Europe has."
-DU debates America's future 10/23/2005