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Old 01-23-2005, 05:57   #1
KY Moose
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Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Republic of Northern Virginia
Posts: 2,783

In the year 2029

>The year is 2029 . . .
>* Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.
>* Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia (formerly known as California).
>* White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.
>* Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.
>* Constitutional Amendment passed that allows illegal aliens to run for U. S. President.
>* Baby conceived naturally . . . scientists stumped.
>* Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.
>* Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the ATM (the American Territory of the Middle East, formerly known as Iran, Afghanistan, Syria and Lebanon).
>* Iraq still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.
>* France pleads for global help after being overtaken by Jamaica.
>* George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.
>* Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.
>* 85-year, $75.8 billion study finds: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss!!!
>* Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.
>* Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed, they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.
>* Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.
>* Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.
>* Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.
>* New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.
>* Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.
>* Capitol Hill intern indicted for refusing to have sex with congressman.
>* IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.
>* Florida Democrats still don't know how to use a voting machine
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