A job for Freddie
A Job for Freddie
A small Georgia Wild Animal Park acquired a very rare species of gorilla. Within a few weeks, the gorilla, who was a female,! became very difficult to handle. Upon examination, the park veterinarian determined the problem. The gorilla was in heat. To make matters worse, there was no male gorilla available.
Reflecting on their problem, the park administrator thought of Freddie Lorenzo, a redneck
part-time intern from the University of Georgia, who was responsible for cleaning the
animal's cages. Freddie, like most rednecks, had little sense, but possessed ample ability
to satisfy a female of any species. The park administrator thought they might have a
solution. Freddie was approached with a proposition. Would he be willing to mate with
the gorilla for $500.00?
Freddie showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully.
The following day, Freddie announced that he would accept their offer, but only under
the following four conditions.
"First," he said, "I don't want to have to kiss her on the lips." The park administrator
quickly agreed to this condition.
"Second," Freddie said, "you must never tell anyone about this." The park administrator
again readily agreed to this condition.
"Third," Freddie said, "I want all the offspring to be raised Southern Baptist." Once again
the administrator agreed.
And last of all Freddie stated "You've got to give me another week to come up with
Life, is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely,
in a pretty and well preserved body. But rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming
- "Holy S**t!" "What a Ride!"