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Old 12-04-2005, 06:22   #1
nrmcolt
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Pop quiz!

(Not trying to tick anyone off, just some light humor)
The following quiz consists of four questions that tell you whether or not you are qualified to be a professional.

Scroll down for the answers. The questions are not that difficult. You just need to think like a professional.
If you are already familiar with the test you are hereby disqualified

1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?

2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?

3. A meeting was called for all the animal.All the animals attend except one. Which animal does not attend?

4. There is a river filled with crocodiles. How do you cross it?

I'll give the answers after ten posters who care to reply.;f

;c
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Last edited by nrmcolt; 12-04-2005 at 07:29..
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Old 12-04-2005, 08:21   #2
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Hehe... heard this one in highschool. But since we are in a firearm oriented forum, I guess the modified answer should start with: "First, shoot the giraffe...";f A heated discussion will then ensue about what caliber would have enough stopping power to bring down a giraffe. Someone will then argue the legalities of shooting an unarmed giraffe and the politically correct rules of engagement when confronted witha long-necked mammal refusing to step inside a refrigerator. The thread will then be derailed by someone offering his/her favorite recipe for kalderetang giraffe since no one wants the giraffe in the ref to go to waste!;Q Then we gotta deal with the elephant...

But seriously, nrmcolt, astig yung answer dito sa quiz mo! I still laughed when I saw it.;f
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Old 12-04-2005, 08:48   #3
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Re: Pop quiz!

deleted.
sorry kill joy ako e.;e;g

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Old 12-04-2005, 09:05   #4
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1. i'll chop up the giraffe and stuff it inside the ref.
2. i'll do the same to the elephant.
3. the elephant and the giraffe.
4. i'll skip, hop and jump in their backs
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Old 12-04-2005, 10:45   #5
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Re: Pop quiz!

Quote:
Originally posted by nrmcolt


1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?

you open the ref's door and stuff the giraffe inside.

2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?

you take out the giraffe first then stuff the elephant inside.

3. A meeting was called for all the animal.All the animals attend except one. Which animal does not attend?

the elephant, of course. its inside the ref.

4. There is a river filled with crocodiles. How do you cross it?

you take out the frozen elephant out the ref and float it in the river. jump on the elephant and cross the river.
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Old 12-04-2005, 10:47   #6
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Re: Pop quiz!

Quote:
Originally posted by nrmcolt
(Not trying to tick anyone off, just some light humor)
The following quiz consists of four questions that tell you whether or not you are qualified to be a professional.

Scroll down for the answers. The questions are not that difficult. You just need to think like a professional.
If you are already familiar with the test you are hereby disqualified

1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator? with great difficulty

2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?Take the giraffe out, then stuff the elephant in with great difficulty

3. A meeting was called for all the animal.All the animals attend except one. Which animal does not attend? the elephant, of course

4. There is a river filled with crocodiles. How do you cross it? with a boat

I'll give the answers after ten posters who care to reply.;f

;c
;f
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Old 12-04-2005, 10:49   #7
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Re: Re: Pop quiz!

Quote:
Originally posted by Eye Cutter
4. just swim accross using back stroke since there's no more crocodile in the river kasi nadoon sa meeting kasama ng iba pang hayop! ;f ;e
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Old 12-04-2005, 10:56   #8
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;z ;z ;z

Ok. Next questions.

1. Why can't 4 elephants play basketball?

2. How do you fit 5 elephants in a volkwagen?

3. Where are the elephants going in a volkwagen? And why?
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Old 12-04-2005, 11:08   #9
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Quote:
Originally posted by casmot
;z ;z ;z

Ok. Next questions.

1. Why can't 4 elephants play basketball?
'coz there's no jersy for elepant size?

2. How do you fit 5 elephants in a volkwagen?
just delete the ele and put the 5 phants inside the volkswagen?

3. Where are the elephants going in a volkwagen? And why?
try to hitch a ride? 'coz they want to go to madagascar and spent their vacation along with a lion, zebra, giraffe, hipo & pengoins?
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Old 12-04-2005, 11:26   #10
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Teka muna, tama ba yung sagot sa unang tanong?

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Old 12-04-2005, 16:39   #11
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Quote:
Originally posted by casmot


1. Why can't 4 elephants play basketball?

kulang pa ng isang elephant!

2. How do you fit 5 elephants in a volkwagen?

2 in front, 3 at the back!

3. Where are the elephants going in a volkwagen? And why?

to the gym. to play basketball, of course!
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Old 12-04-2005, 18:42   #12
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Re: Pop quiz!

[QUOTE]

4. There is a river filled with crocodiles. How do you cross it?

it would be smarter to cross the river if you use the bridge!!;a
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Old 12-04-2005, 20:51   #13
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Answers...

Yup DocEC nailed the 1st 3 correct answers but not question no.4

New_comer almost got it

Gundog got no.4

;f ;a ;c
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Old 12-04-2005, 23:33   #14
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hahaha... anymore elephant jokes?
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Old 12-05-2005, 02:57   #15
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Re: Answers...

Quote:
Originally posted by nrmcolt
Yup DocEC nailed the 1st 3 correct answers but not question no.4

New_comer almost got it

Gundog got no.4

4. There is a river filled with crocodiles. How do you cross it?

it would be smarter to cross the river if you use the bridge!!

;f ;a ;c
If that's the case, I'd rather be in an airplane. Baka me mag-abang din sa bridge na mga buwaya, tulad dun sa may Nagtahan...
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Old 12-05-2005, 03:19   #16
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I don't know about the elephant or the giraffe but I think a browning .50 cal machine gun will do the trick with the crocidiles.


Just kidding I have seen this one before and didn't want to spoil it have fun.;a
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Old 12-06-2005, 16:40   #17
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answer me this batman!
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Old 12-06-2005, 16:41   #18
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1. Pulchritude possesses solely cutaneous profundity.


2. Scintillate, scintillate, dimunutive asteroid.


3. Members of an avian species of identical plumage congregate.


4. Surveillance should precede saltation.


5. It is fruitless to become lachrymose over precipitately departed lacteal fluid.


6. Freedom from incrustations of grimes is contiguous to divinity


7. The stylus is more potent than the claymore.


8. It is fruitless to attempt to indoctrinate a superannuated canine with innovative maneuvers.


9. Eschew the implement of corrections and vitiate the scion.


10. The temperature of the aqueous content of an unremittingly ogled cooking container does not reach 212 degrees Fahrenheit.


11. Neophyte's serendipity.


12. Male cadavers are incapable of yielding any testimony.


13. Individuals who make their abode in vitreous edifices would be advised to refrain from catapulting petrous projections.


14. All articles that coruscate with resplendence are not truly auriferous.


15. Where there are visible vapors having their province in ignited carbonaceous material, there is conflagration.


16. Sorting on the parts of mendicants must be interdicted.


17. A plethora of individuals with expertise in culinary technique vitiates the potable concoction produced by steeping comestibles.


18. Exclusive dedication to necessary chores without interludes of hedonistic diversion renders John an addlepated fellow.


19. A revolving lithic conglomerate accumulates no diminutive glaucous bryophytic plants.


20. The person presenting the ultimate cachinnation possesses, thereby, the optimal cachinnation.


21. Missiles of ligneous or porous consistency have the potential of fracturing my osseous structure but appellations will eternally be benign.


22. Propinquity avails itself only in the coverlets of equine quadra-bases.


23. On no occasion deposit aggregate products of domesticated fowls in a single receptacle.


24. Allow me to caution you against enumerating your fowl prior to their delivery into the environment.


25. When visiting an unfamiliar terrain, perform in accordance with the customs of the local inhabitants.


26. Do not imitate my personal behavior, but endeavor to comport yourself with reference to my instructions.


27. A feathered avian species held in an extremity, has the significance of a duo in shrubbery.


28. Diminutive vessels are equipped with immense auricles.


29. When precipitation descends vertically, it issues forth copiously and continuously.


30. No individual specimen in the species Homo Sapiens exists in a condition of isolation.


31. If an enclosure for a pedal extremity adapts itself suitably to said appendage, it would be advisable to employ it accordingly.


32. If a large solid-footed mammal becomes available to you without compensation, refrain from casting your faculty for seeing into the oral cavity of such a creature.


33. A canine which gives vent to his sentiments by a series of vocal efforts, rarely finds use of his bicuspids. (This is one of the most-missed questions so far.)


34. An individual who vacillates when there is need of action will find himself beyond the hope of future success.


35. In the solar system, the possibility of a novel discovery is predominantly non-existent.


36. Superfluous chronological dispatch institutes riddance of valued effects.


37. Each vaporous mass suspended in the firmament has an interior decoration of metallic hue.


38. Lack of what is required is the matriarch of inspiration.


39. A single unit of a seam properly distributed at the correct measure of duration will maintain a square root of 81.


40. The placement of the termination as prescedent of the commencement should never be assessed.


41. He who locks himself into the arms of Morpheus promptly at eventide, and starts the day before it is officially announced by the rising sun, excels in physical fitness, increases his economic assets and celebrates with remarkable efficiency.


42. Deliberate squandering of one's assets culminates in lamentable destitution. (This one is rather obscure, or obsolete.)


43. Clocks and calendars will not delay their schedules for the convenience of any entity.


44. There is a multitude of methods that one can resort to if one elects to fleece a feline.


45. One percent of a medium of exchange conserved is that quantity deserved.


46. Visualizing is the equivalent to having faith.


47. That which is acquired without difficulty is dispersed with equal facility.


48. A chronic disposition to inquiry deprived the domestic feline carnivorous quadruped of its vital quality.


49. Immature homo sapiens should be endowed with visibility but not oral facilities.


50. Taciturnity is aurous.


51. The herbage is customarily more verduous on the diametrical selvage of the property barrier.


52. Everything is legitimate in matters pertaining to ardent affection and armed conflict between nations.


53. Exercise your visual facilities prior to executing a jump.


54. A comrade who comes to your assistance during periods of dire desperation is to be valued above all other allies.


55. If one cannot endure excessive temperatures, it is preferable that he avoid that section of the domicile where the cuisine is concocted.


56. Gormandize comestibles, imbibe libations, and indulge in diversions because on the morrow, all such activities will be curtailed.


57. Eleemosynary deeds have their incipience intramurally.


58. Persons of imbellic mentality divagate inparameter which cherubic entities approach with trepidation.


59. Elementary sartorial techniques intitially appplied preclude repetitious actions to the squares of three.


60. Abstention from any aleatory undertaking precludes a potential escalation of a lucrative nature.


61. Allow somnolent quadrapeds to remain reclining.


62. That which ascends to the stratosphere inevitably descends to terra firma.


63. The individual of the class Aves arriving prior to the appointed time seizes the invertebrate animals of the phylum Vermes.


64. Cleave gamineous matter for fodder during the period in which the orb of the day is refulgent.


65. A person of moronic proclivities and his pecuniary resources are separated with celerity.


66. It is practicable to entice an equus caballus to a reservoir of liquid hydrogen oxide but coercing him to imbibe is insuperable.


67. Similar sire, similar scion.


68. Deviation from the ordinary or common routine of existence is that which gives zest to man's cycle of existence.
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Last edited by Eye Cutter; 12-06-2005 at 16:45..
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Old 12-06-2005, 16:47   #19
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to see the answers, highlight the text in the following post. this was sent to me by Saruman
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Old 12-06-2005, 16:49   #20
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wow, what a way with words.
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