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Old 12-04-2005, 20:41   #1
Alexii
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Ganito Magbigay ng Masamang Balita

Ganito magbigay ng masamang balita
SAPOL Ni Jarius Bondoc
Ang Pilipino STAR Ngayon

KUMIRIRING ang telepono nang madaling araw....

"Hello, Master Carlos? Si Arnaldo po ito, 'yung katiwala niyo sa bahay-bakasyunan niyo."

"O, Mr. Arnaldo, ikaw pala. Ano't napatawag ka? May problema ba?

"Um, napatawag lang po ako para abisuhan kayo na namatay ang alaga niyong parrot."

"'Yung parrot kong si Pikoy, patay? 'Yung nanalo sa bird show?

"Opo, Master Carlos, 'yun na nga po."

"Putris ... sayang! Ang laki pa naman ng nagastos ko sa ibong 'yon. Hay, buhay! Teka, ano nga ba ang ikinamatay niya?"

"E, kumain po kasi ng bulok na karne...."

"Bulok na karne? At sino namang salbaheng tao ang nagpakain sa kanya ng bulok na karne?"

"W-Wala po. Nanginain po siya ng karne ng isang patay na kabayo."

"Patay na kabayo? Anong patay na kabayo, Mr Arnaldo?"

"E, 'yun pung mga thoroughbred horses niyo, Sir. Namatay po kasi lahat sila sa pagod, kahihila ng kariton ng tubig."

"Nasisiraan ka na ba ng bait? Anong kariton ng tubbbiiiiggggg?"

"'Yun pong pinampatay namin ng sunog."

"Diyos ko po! Anong sunog naman 'yang pinagsasasabi mo?"

"'Yun pong halos tumupok sa bahay niyo.... Tumumba po 'yung isang nakasinding kandila, tapos nagliyab 'yung kurtina at mabilis na kumalat ang apoy...."

"Ano? Puuut.... E, may kuryente naman diyan sa bahay-bakasyunan, a. Para saan 'yung kandila?"

"Para sa burol po."

"Ano? Kaninong burol?

"Sa nanay n'yo po, Sir. Bigla kasi siya dumating dito nu'ng isang gabi, walang kaabi-abiso. Lampas hatinggabi na. Akala ko po magnanakaw. Binaril ko."
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Old 12-04-2005, 20:46   #2
scowan007
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Old 12-04-2005, 21:16   #3
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Old 12-04-2005, 23:31   #4
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;z ;z ;z

but seriously... ;L may magrerekalmo na naman o di kaya gagawin issue ito. (someone will complain or make an issue out of this).

but then again... ;z ;z ;z
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Old 12-05-2005, 00:45   #5
horge
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Re: Ganito Magbigay ng Masamang Balita

English Translation

This is how to bring bad tidings:
"Sapol" by Jarius Bondoc
Pilipino Star Ngayon


The phone rang one dawn.

"Hello, Mr. Carlos? This is Arnaldo, sir. The caretaker at your vacation house."

"Oh, it's you Arnaldo. What moved you to call? Is there a problem?"

"Umm, I called to advise you that your pet parrot died."

"My parrot 'Pikoy'? The one that won at the bird show?"

"Yes, Master Carlos, that very one, sir."

"Damn... what a pity! I'd spent so much on that bird.
Sigh! Hold on, what caused its death?"

"Well, sir, it ingested rotten meat"

"Rotten meat? And what worthless person fed it rotten meat?"

"No-no one sir. It just partook of the flesh of a dead horse"

"A dead horse? What dead horse, Mr. Arnaldo?"

"Well, those thoroughbred horses of yours, sir. They died
of exhaustion from pulling a water wagon"

"Are you out of your mind? What water wagonnnn?"

"The one used to put out the fire, sir."

"My God! What fire are you talking about?"

"The one that practically razed your house, sir... A candle had toppled over,
setting the curtains ablaze, and the fire just spread..."

"Whaat? Son of a...
Hold it, we have electricity at the vacation house, so what was that lit candle for?"

"For the wake, sir"

"What? What wake?"

"Your mother's, sir. She showed up suddenly one night without calling first,
past midnight. I thought she was a thief, sir. I shot her."


-h.
(it reads so much better in Pilipino, though... ;f)
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Last edited by horge; 12-05-2005 at 00:55..
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Old 12-05-2005, 02:20   #6
Eye Cutter
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Re: Ganito Magbigay ng Masamang Balita

Quote:
Originally posted by Alexii
Ganito magbigay ng masamang balita
Ganito cause of evil tidings

SAPOL Ni Jarius Bondoc
Ang Pilipino STAR Ngayon
The Temple STAR Now

KUMIRIRING ang telepono nang madaling araw....
KUMIRIRING the phone nang quick daytime....

"Hello, Master Carlos? Si Arnaldo po ito, 'yung katiwala niyo sa bahay-bakasyunan niyo."
"Hello, Master Carlos? Si Arnaldo po it, 'yung overseer coconut toward tenement-bakasyunan coconut"

"O, Mr. Arnaldo, ikaw pala. Ano't napatawag ka? May problema ba?
"oh, Mr. Arnaldo, you spade. Ano't napatawag you? Have problem ba?

"Um, napatawag lang po ako para abisuhan kayo na namatay ang alaga niyong parrot."
"Um, napatawag ant po me seem abisuhan fabric na late the nurse coconut parrot."

"'Yung parrot kong si Pikoy, patay? 'Yung nanalo sa bird show?
"'Yung parrot kong si Pikoy, extinct? 'Yung aggressor toward bird show?

"Opo, Master Carlos, 'yun na nga po."
"Opo, Master Carlos, 'yun na nga po."

"Putris ... sayang! Ang laki pa naman ng nagastos ko sa ibong 'yon. Hay, buhay! Teka, ano nga ba ang ikinamatay niya?"
"Putris ... fritter The extent yet naman of nagastos ko toward bird 'yon. Hay, life! Teka, what nga ba the ikinamatay her?"

"E, kumain po kasi ng bulok na karne...."
"E, eat po greed of decayed na meat...."

"Bulok na karne? At sino namang salbaheng tao ang nagpakain sa kanya ng bulok na karne?"
"decayed na meat? And who namang scamp the nagpakain toward its of decayed na meat?"

"W-Wala po. Nanginain po siya ng karne ng isang patay na kabayo."
"W- Devoid po. Nanginain po he of meat of isang extinct na steed"

"Patay na kabayo? Anong patay na kabayo, Mr Arnaldo?"
"extinct na steed? Anong extinct na steed, Mr Arnaldo?"

"E, 'yun pung mga thoroughbred horses niyo, Sir. Namatay po kasi lahat sila sa pagod, kahihila ng kariton ng tubig."
"E, 'yun pudgy mga thoroughbred horses coconut, Sir. Late po greed all they toward tired, ignominy of cart of fluid"

"Nasisiraan ka na ba ng bait? Anong kariton ng tubbbiiiiggggg?"
"Nasisiraan you na ba of rung? Anong cart of tubbbiiiiggggg?"

"'Yun pong pinampatay namin ng sunog."
"'Yun pong pinampatay yam of sunog."

"Diyos ko po! Anong sunog naman 'yang pinagsasasabi mo?"
"god ko po! Anong sunog naman 'yang pinagsasasabi your?"

"'Yun pong halos tumupok sa bahay niyo.... Tumumba po 'yung isang nakasinding kandila, tapos nagliyab 'yung kurtina at mabilis na kumalat ang apoy...."
"'Yun pong approximately fulfil fulfill toward tenement coconut.... Profit po 'yung isang nakasinding candle, already nagliyab 'yung curtain and spry na dissipate the apoy...."

"Ano? Puuut.... E, may kuryente naman diyan sa bahay-bakasyunan, a. Para saan 'yung kandila?"
what Puuut.... E, have electricity naman there toward tenement-bakasyunan, a. Seem where 'yung candle?"

"Para sa burol po."
"seem toward ridge po."

"Ano? Kaninong burol?
"what Kaninong ridge?

"Sa nanay n'yo po, Sir. Bigla kasi siya dumating dito nu'ng isang gabi, walang kaabi-abiso. Lampas hatinggabi na. Akala ko po magnanakaw. Binaril ko."
"toward mamma n'yo po, Sir. Instantly greed he arrive herein nu'ng isang night, devoid kaabi- summons. Surpass hatinggabi na. Akala ko po thief. Hermaphrodite ko."
hahaha! good one! nahilo ako kaka-decipher!

;e
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Old 12-05-2005, 02:33   #7
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Englisi..Englisi;f..Thats a good one.
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Old 12-05-2005, 09:57   #8
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the best^c
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Old 12-05-2005, 10:16   #9
doctabako
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`l priceless ;f
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Old 12-05-2005, 18:38   #10
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ang galing ng translation ng NIYO...COCONUT!!! hahahaha ~fnt~
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Old 12-05-2005, 19:34   #11
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Old 12-07-2005, 07:47   #12
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