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Old 06-18-2006, 11:55   #1
Gregoriev
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Help Me Revise and Edit My Fiction Story

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Old 06-18-2006, 15:27   #2
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What do you work in? M$ Word?

If so, I will email you as soon as I have time to read it and REFLECT before making comments the way my editor does me. (I am going to take my father to eat for Father's day so I don't have time to do it right now)

If you use something else, I can send it to you as a .pdf but you just can't work within the file itself. It will work but you can't add your notes to the actual document. What we have found works best is for the author's comments to be in black and the editor's comments be in a differnt color and the author's thoughts when working to be in a third color when working something over via email. Or we simply use the Add Comment option with M$ Word and a second color for other things. Whatever route you go, you will find what works best for YOU. Stick with it.

My editor doesn't "fix" things persay, he instead asks "why?" or "WTF?" or "would so-and-so be better here?" or occasionally I get a "great" from him. He can slaughter me if I need it, and he has before by saying "I appreciate all the hard work here but this just ain't gonna work. Let's try again with something entirely different. Don't bother trying to use this NOW, save it for something else and write this over differently" with some suggestions as to how to start. (Don't ever trash anything you wrote--add it to a file somewhere and some day you just may be able to reuse it or at least springboard off the idea you had when you wrote it.

And you are only 18?

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Old 06-18-2006, 15:35   #3
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Oh, one little thing, a nitpick.

I haven't poked around this site any, other than to grab your first chapter but seeing the font made me think of something you may not know.

The font used on the site is a sans serif font which means the "tails" to the letters are missing. It is a cleaner looking font but it is also harder to read. Try to always work with serif fonts when you have the chance as the tails draw the eyes to the next letter which prevents/reduces fatigue.

Why do you think Times New Roman is so damn famous?
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Old 06-18-2006, 22:14   #4
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Thank you for your support...

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Old 06-19-2006, 06:18   #5
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Gregoriev, I'll be glad to offer some suggestions on your first chapters. If Missk is going to edit it for you, why not consider the changes she suggests, incorporate the ones you decide to use, and then I'll go over it for you? It might be more helpful that way than if we both read and comment on the same version. What do you think?

If writing your story is anyways like writing my novel was for me, this is only the first of many edits you'll be doing anyway. Don't put too much work into the first chapters before going on, because what I've found is that further into the novel as new ideas hit, you'll want to make major changes, and that will cause you to have to go back to the beginning and rewrite anyway. Also, as you progress through the story, your own writing ability is going to improve until when you near the end, you'll want to go back and re-do the beginning anyway.

I read some of your work. You've got a lot going for you!
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Old 06-19-2006, 06:29   #6
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Old 06-19-2006, 10:44   #7
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That works!

You have email. It is the first chapter. If anything is unclear, just ask.

If I could figure out a SIMPLE way to put it here for others to see, I would. But I think I would have a nervous breakdown if I tried and Eric would strangle me if I broke the database with all the coding it would take
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Old 06-19-2006, 10:51   #8
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Quote:
Originally posted by Gregoriev


Thank you very much for your support. I think your idea is very good, and we should use it. so, here is what I gather so far:
1) I revise a chapter
2) missk edits that chapter
3) Miss Maggie goes over it last
Miss Maggie will see things that I will miss. Whoever you get to read it next will find things that she misses. You look for your own most common mistakes in other people's work out of habit from looking for your own. You will see a few things I marked grammitical even though that was not what I was editing specifically that just jumped out at me as I make the same mistakes.

Also, you repeat certian words often. For a lot of people a frequently repeated word is "that" so I got to where I would print out a copy of whatever I was working on be it a research paper or a short story and read the entire document highlighting just the word "that" question. Then I went back and decided if I needed that word or another in the place or if it could be cut completely. Then I switched colors and did another problem word for me.

You will find your own method that works best for you in time, whatever it will be. Once you find it, just stick with it.
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Old 06-26-2006, 07:36   #9
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Old 06-30-2006, 06:47   #10
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Gregoriev, I think it is great that you are writing this much material at such a young age. You obviously have talent and will only get better as you continue to write. Just write, write, write. Most "writers" simply don't do enough of that.

Good luck to you.
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Old 06-30-2006, 07:39   #11
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Originally posted by major
Gregoriev, I think it is great that you are writing this much material at such a young age. You obviously have talent and will only get better as you continue to write. Just write, write, write. Most "writers" simply don't do enough of that.

Good luck to you.
+1.
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Old 06-30-2006, 19:12   #12
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Old 07-02-2006, 06:31   #13
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Did you get my email?
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Old 07-02-2006, 23:17   #14
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Old 07-03-2006, 06:00   #15
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Gregoriev,

You need to edit your post ASAP to remove that email address, unless it is your own or a publically published company contact.

In the future, such questions should be asked privately via PM or email.
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Old 07-03-2006, 06:51   #16
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Old 07-03-2006, 07:17   #17
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Quote:
Originally posted by Gregoriev
Sorry about that. I didn't know email accounts like yours were something to keep as private as possible.
Common sense! And I asked you twice to edit it yourself before I went looking for help elsewhere! You were on line last night when I pm'ed you asking you to remove the address, too, because I checked. You simply ignored the pm and then you ignored the email.

You probably have no idea what a chapter editing like I gave you from a published writer would have cost if you paid for it. You might want to check and see what you blew.

Let other writers be warned. Take your time to send Gregoriev private editing suggestions and he'll post your email address.

Sadly, I'm beginning to think Manonmars was right, at least about some things!

Thanks so much, Eddie C. for taking care of this.
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Old 07-03-2006, 07:58   #18
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Old 07-03-2006, 10:50   #19
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Originally posted by Gregoriev
Sorry about that. I didn't know email accounts like yours were something to keep as private as possible.
Sharing that email address publically like that on the board opens it up to being captured by bots, spiders and whatever else there is which in turn gets the holder endless spam, virii and headaches. I am suprised that you have yours listed in your sigline for this very reason! Think about how many times you have seen people post their address as somename at yahoo.com or some other way that would prevent it from being captured as easily.

What if that address had her last name in it? That combined with a location could have very dire consequences being placed on the board. Also, say it was a member that everybody freely addresses by first name and the address had the last name and was a .gov which could be traced back to who the person actually was? You could have just blown the cover an officer worked a very long time to establish. Likewise, you could have just made a woman's identity known who could be preyed upon or who had come here seeking to learn how to protect herself from the abusive husband she had just left.

Why do you think we create user names? How many people use their real name as their user name? Sure a few do, but out of the 50K plus here, I would say less than 500 do. Some people have no problems with making such information public but some of us do. Call us paranoid, overly sensetive, intelligently cautios, whatever you want, just respect it.

Just think. OK?
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Old 07-03-2006, 11:22   #20
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Old 07-04-2006, 16:42   #21
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Quote:
Originally posted by Gregoriev

Please dont over react to this. I dont like making excuses, but I really wasn't thinking when I posted that, and I honestly didn't know the consequences. What on earth would I have to gain from posting your email?

I truly am sorry if You were inundated with emails from people on this board, and it will never happen again.

Once again, I am very sorry for what happened here, and I will be sure nothing like it happens again. [/B]
Gregoriev,
I do believe you just didn't think and I appreciate your remorse for what you did, and I believe you'll never do it again; but that doesn't change the results. It was a shock to see my email address posted like that and an inconvenience staying on line for half the night trying to catch a mod who had the power to delete it. I mistakenly thought everyone got PM notices and chose to ask you to delete privately while you were online hoping to keep what has happened off the board, so I was at fault jumping to the conclusion you'd ignored my PM.

Concerning other GTers, I was not worried any of the time about emails from other members of the board. Mostly, they are a great bunch of people and I don't know of even one who's sent emails or PMs that were not welcome. I was worried about other unsavory sorts picking up the address and I was not over reacting in that worry because since the address was posted, I've received around 25 emails daily for various sexual enhancers. I feel sure that is only the beginning and I truly hope I do not have to do away with an email address I've used every day for more than five years, but I'll deal with that if I have to.

On the matter of when someone does send you a ctitique, it would be a courtesy for you to send them a reply telling them you've received it even if you don't have time to look at it then. As of right now, I know you received an email from me because you posted my address, but I do not know if the criticism came in attached and that was all I wanted to know when I wrote you to start with. Doing a critique takes quite a long time, as you've pointed out in other areas yourself, and the effort deserves a response so the one sending it knows it has been received.

Happy writing, and I hope I gave you at least a tip or two that will help you in your work. As I said in the email, you're welcome to use or you're free to ignore any suggestion I offered. One thing I did not tell you in the email but that I've found out for myself if that if a criticism makes you bristle, give it close thought, because for sure there's something to learn in that part. Your story in the early drafts shows a lot of promise. Keep up the good work!

Miss Maggie
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Old 07-26-2006, 10:43   #22
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Old 07-26-2006, 15:58   #23
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Quote:
Originally posted by Gregoriev
Thank you all for you help, especially Ms. Maggie, for revising and editing my story. I have brought chapter 1 up to version 1.5 and have updated it on FF.net so everyone can read it.

Please go read it and tell me what you think. I tried to make use of more tag lines, though I fear I may have misused them in a few places. Please tell me what you think.

I am currently going to spend the entire day working on chatper 2, and with any luck I will have that updated soon as well. I thank you all for your kind words and support while I work on my novel.

EDIT:
I just brought chapter 2 up to Version 1.0!!! I will be working on Chapter 3 today and tomorrow. Thank you all for your support!!!
You're most welcome. But all I did was to offer you suggestions for editing and revising. You're the one doing the revisions. I'm looking forward to reading your changes.

Keep on writing.
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Old 07-28-2006, 12:46   #24
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Old 08-01-2006, 17:06   #25
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Greg, I looked at some of the first part of what you have. I have a small suggestion, try doing some of what you are discribing. Like shooting a styrofoam ice chest with wolf 7.62x39 jacketed ammo. The discriptions of the FTF's was right on more or less, the older stuff did misfire about that often, but a styrofoam box will not split into sections like you are discribing they usually get a small hol;e in one side (entry then a slightly larger one on the exit)Now if they were partly waterfilled and you were useing soft points they might split or fall apart on one shot. All in all it is pretty good though, I always check those little details though. I write some scy fi and western stuff.
You may want to remember that in sci fi you have to follow the laws of physics, if you do not it becomes fantasy.

I will be looking im on this from time to time but right now i have a deadline to meet and am working on my own story, so I do not have the time to get into more detail.
Oh yes; I noticed that the style you are writing in would fit a screen play, perhaps better than a novel.
Keep up the good work though and do not get discouraged.
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