Jesse Jackson has a heart attack and dies.
He goes to hell where the Devil is waiting for him.
I don't know what to do here, says the Devil, I know you're on
my list but I have no room for you, but YOU DEFINITELY have to
stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do:
I've got three people here who were quite as bad as you. I'll
let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll even
let YOU decide who leaves, but your choice will be final.
Jesse thought that sounded pretty good, so he agreed.
The Devil opened the first room. In it was Ted Kennedy and a
large pool of water. He kept resurfacing over and over and over,
gasping for air. Such was his fate in hell.
No! Jesse said, I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and
don't think I could do that all day long.
The devil led him to the next room. In it was Jane Fonda with a
sledgehammer and a room full of rocks. All she did was swing that
hammer, time after time after time, and more rocks appeared.
No! I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in
constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day,
The devil opened a third door. In it, Jesse saw Bill Clinton
lying naked on the floor with his arms staked over his head and
his legs staked in spread eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica
Lewinsky, doing what she does best. Jesse Jackson looked at this
in disbelief for a while and finally said,
Yeah, I can handle this.
The devil smiled and said... Monica, you're free to go!