GlockTalk.com
Home Forums Classifieds Blogs Today's Posts Search Social Groups



  
SIGN-UP
Notices

Glock Talk
Welcome To The Glock Talk Forums.

 
  
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 03-08-2007, 10:07   #1
Nowhere Man
Senior Member
 
Nowhere Man's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2003
Location: North Port, FL
Posts: 4,146
Mor Irish jokes

>>Only the Irish have Jokes Like These
>>
>>Into a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy,
>>
>>looking like he'd just been run over by a train.
>>
>>His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken,
>>
>>his face is cut and bruised and he's walking with a limp
>>
>>"What happened to you?" asks Sean, the bartender.
>>
>>" Jamie O'Conner and me had a fight," says Paddy.
>>
>>"That little *****e, O'Conner," says Sean,
>>
>>"He couldn't do that to you,
>>
>>he must have had something in his hand."
>>
>>"That he did," says Paddy, "a shovel is what he had,
>>
>>and a terrible lickin' he gave me with it."
>>
>>"Well," says Sean, "you should have defended yourself,
>>
>>didn't you have something in your hand?"
>>
>>That I did," said Paddy.
>>
>>"Mrs. O'Conner's breast, and a thing of
>>
>>beauty it was, but useless in a fight."
>>
>>
>>
>>**************************************************************************
>>******************
>>**************
>>
>>An Irishman who had a little too much to drink
>>
>>is driving home from the city one night and,
>>
>>of course, his car is weaving violently all over the road.
>>
>>
>>A cop pulls him over.
>>
>>"So," says the cop to the driver,
>>
>>where have ya been?"
>>
>>"Why, I've been to the pub of course,"
>>
>>slurs the drunk.
>>
>>"Well," says the cop, "it looks like you've had quite
>>
>>a few to drink this evening."
>>
>>"I did all right," the drunk says with a smile.
>>
>>"Did you know," says the cop, standing straight and
>>
>>folding his arms across his chest,
>>
>>"that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?"
>>
>>"Oh, thank heavens," sighs the drunk.
>>
>>"For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf."
>>
>>
>>
>>**************************************************************************
>>*********************************
>>
>>Brenda O'Malley is home making dinner, as usual,
>>
>>when Tim Finnegan arrives at her door.
>>
>>"Brenda, may I come in?" he asks.
>>
>>"I've somethin' to tell ya".
>>
>>"Of course you can come in, you're always welcome, Tim.
>>
>>But where's my husband?"
>>
>>"That's what I'm here to be telling ya, Brenda."
>>
>>There was an accident down at the Guinness brewery..."
>>
>>"Oh, God no!" cries Brenda. "Please don't tell me." "I must, Brenda. Your
>>husband Shamus
>>
>>is dead and gone. I'm sorry.
>>
>>Finally, she looked up at Tim.
>>
>>"How did it happen, Tim?"
>>
>>
>>"It was terrible, Brenda. He fell into a vat
>>
>>of Guinness Stout and drowned."
>>
>>
>>"Oh my dear Jesus! But you must tell me truth, Tim.
>>
>>Did he at least go quickly?"
>>
>>"Well, Brenda... no. In fact,
>>
>>he got out three times to pee."
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>**************************************************************************
>>**********************************
>>
>>
>>Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady af ter
>>
>>his Sunday morning service, and she's in tears.
>>
>>He says, "So what's bothering you, Mary my dear?"
>>
>>She says, "Oh, Father, I've got terrible news.
>>
>>My husband passed away last night."
>>
>>The priest says, "Oh, Mary, that's terrible.
>>
>>Tell me, Mary, did he have any last requests?"
>>
>>She says, "That he did, Father."
>>
>>The priest says, "What did he ask, Mary? "
>>
>>She says, He said,
>>
>>'Please Mary, put down that damn gun...'
>>
>>
>>
>>**************************************************************************
>>*******************************
>>
>>
>>AND THE BEST FOR LAST
>>
>>
>>
>>A drunk staggers into a Catholic Church,
>>
>>enters a co nfessional booth, sits down, but says nothing.
>>
>>The Priest coughs a few times to get his
>>
>>attention but the drunk continues to sit there.
>>
>>Finally, the Priest pounds three times on the wall.
>>
>>The drunk mumbles, "ain't no use knockin,
>>
>>there's no paper on this side either!"
>>
>>
>
Nowhere Man is offline   Reply With Quote

 
  
Reply

« Men/Women | Hillary »
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump




All times are GMT -6. The time now is 00:10.




Homepage
FAQ
Forums
Calendar
Advertise
Gallery
GT Wiki
GT Blogs
Social Groups
Classifieds


Users Currently Online: 715
175 Members
540 Guests

Most users ever online: 2,672
Aug 11, 2014 at 2:31