A man was brought before the judge and charged with necrophilia -- making love to a dead woman.
The judge told him, "In 20 years on the bench, I've never heard such a disgusting, immoral thing. Just give me one good reason why I shouldn't lock you up and throw away the key!"
The man replied, "I'll give you THREE good reasons:
# 1, It's none of your damn business
# 2, She was my wife
# 3, I didn't KNOW she was dead, she ALWAYS acted that way!"
Don't dial 911, dial 1911
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