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Old 05-30-2007, 01:52   #1
okie
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At the bar

This small Latino man walks into a bar, sits, and orders a beer. A big man
comes in, taps him on his shoulder, and says, "You're sitting in my seat!"
The same Spanish man ignores him and orders another beer. The man again taps
him on his shoulder, and tells him he's sitting in his seat.
The same Spanish man gets up, leans over the seat, and says. "I don't see your
name on it."
He sits down again and orders still another beer. "The man says...I know
Karate!"
The small Latino man says, "I know JUDO! JU DON'T KNOW IF I HAVE A GUN! JU
DON'T KNOW IF I HAVE A KNIFE!"
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Old 05-30-2007, 08:09   #2
Ian
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Old 06-04-2007, 15:27   #3
milkdud
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BAR JOKES !!

A man walks up to the bar with an ostrich behind him, and as he sits, the bartender asks for their order.

The man says, "I'll have a beer" and turns to the ostrich. "What's yours?"

"I'll have a beer too" says the ostrich.

The bartender pours the beer and says "That will be $3.40 please," and the man reaches into his pocket and pays with the exact change for payment.

The next day the man and the ostrich come again and the man says "I'll have a beer,"

The ostrich says "I'll have the same."

Once again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

This became a routine until late one evening, the two enter again. "The usual?" asks the bartender.

"Well, it's close to last orders, so I'll have a large Scotch" says the man.

"Same for me" says the ostrich.

"That will be $7.20" says the bartender.

Once again the man pulls exact change out of his pocket and places it on the bar.

The bartender can't hold back his curiosity any longer. "Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change out of your pocket every time?"

"Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and I found this old lamp. When I rubbed it a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever needed to pay for anything, I just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money will be there."

"That's brilliant!" says the bartender. "Most people would wish for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!"

"That's right! Whether it's a gallon of milk, or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there," says the man.

"That's fantastic!" says the bartender. "You are a genius! Oh, one other thing sir, what's with the ostrich?"

The man replies, "Oh, my second wish was for a chick with long legs."
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Old 06-11-2007, 15:05   #4
eddief4
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