A small zoo in Arkansas had a very rare species of
gorilla. Within a few weeks the gorilla, a female,
became very difficult to handle. Upon examination, the
veterinarian determined the problem. The gorilla was
in season. To make matters worse, there was no male
Thinking about their problem, the Zoo Keeper thought
of Bobby Lee Walton, a redneck part-time worker
responsible for cleaning the animal cages. Bobby Lee,
like most rednecks, had little sense but possessed
ample ability to satisfy a female of any species.
The Zoo Keeper thought they might
have a solution.
Bobby Lee was approached with a proposition. Would he
be willing to mate with the gorilla for $500.00? Bobby
Lee showed some interest, but said he would have to
think the matter over carefully.
The following day, he announced that he would accept
their offer, but only under four conditions.
1. "First", Bobby Lee said, "I ain't gonna kiss her on
the lips." The Keeper quickly agreed to this
2. "Second", he said, "You can't never tell no one
about this." The Keeper again readily agreed to this
3. "Third", Bobby Lee said, "I want all the children
raised Southern Baptist." Once again it was agreed.
4. And last of all, Bobby Lee stated "You gotta give
me another week to
come up with the $500.00."
As Stephen F. Roberts so famously said speaking with a Christian apologist "I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours."