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Old 08-28-2007, 06:14   #1
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Three Morticians

There were three morticians trading stories in a bar one night.

The first one says, "What a day I had today. The guy wasn't wearing his seat belt and his head flew into the windshield. Took me all day to make the face look natural."

Not to be outdone, the second mortician says, "You think that's bad? I had this guy in who got hit by a train while he was riding his bike. Took me TWO days to put all the pieces back together!"

The third mortician just shook his head. "You guys have it easy," he said. "I had this female parachutist whose chute didn't open. She landed on a flagpole and it took me all week just to wipe the smile off her face!"
Prepared, not paranoid.
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Old 08-28-2007, 08:53   #2
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"People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because
rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf."
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Old 08-28-2007, 18:42   #3
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I suddenly remembered the HBO show Six Feet Under. The variety of cosmetic remedies they did for their 'disfigured' departed clients is simply amazing!

BoG's #38
H&K Club #38

"We like to talk about (or be told about) Democracy but, when put to the test, usually find it to be an 'inconvenience.' We have opted instead for an authoritarian system *disguised* as a Democracy. We pay through the nose for an enormous joke-of-a-government, let it push us around, and then wonder how all those *******s got in there."
- Frank Zappa
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Old 08-28-2007, 19:07   #4
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Have you heard the joke about the lady who jumped out of a burning building and landed on a fire hydrant? She died with a smile.
I feel discomfort, therefore I exist.
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Old 08-28-2007, 19:54   #5
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Old 08-28-2007, 20:03   #6
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"Wala yan sa lolo ko!" ---Joey De Leon
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