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Old 08-28-2007, 21:04   #1
9MX
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Winner ang English!!

We' ve been friends for a long time ago. We come from the same alma
mother. Actually, our paths crossed one time on another. But it's only
now that I gave him a second look. I realized that beauty is in the
eyes. The pulpbits of my heart went fast, really fast. Cute pala siya.
And then, he came over with me. He said, "I hope you don't mine. Can I
get your number?" Nag-worry ako. What if he doesn't give it back? He
explained naman na it's so we could keep intact daw. Sabi ko, connect
me if i'm wrong but are you asking me ouch? Nabigla siya. Sagot niya,
The! Aba! Parang siya pa ang galit! Persona ingrata!!! Ang kapal niya!
I cried buckles of tears.

Na-guilty yata siya. Sabi niya, isipin mo na lang na this is a
blessing in the sky. Irregardless daw of his feelings, we'll go ouch
na rin. Now, we're so in love. Mute and epidemic na ang past. Thanks
God we swallowed our fried. Kasi, I'm 33 na and I'm running our time.
After 2 weeks, he plopped the question. "Will you marriage me?" I'm in
a state of shocked. Kasi mantakin mo, when it rains, it's four! This
is true good to be true. So siyempre, I said yes. Love is a many splendor.

Pero nung inaayos ko na ang aming kasal, everything swell to pieces.
Nag-di-dinner kami noon nang biglang sa harap ng aming table, may
babaeng humirit ng, "Well, well, well. Look do we have here." What the
fuss! The nerd ng babaeng yon! She said they were still on. So I told
her, whatever is that, cut me some slacks! I didn't want this to get
our hand kaya I had to sip it in the bud. She accused me of steeling
her boyfriend. Ats if! I don't want to portrait the role of the other
woman. Gosh, tell me to the marines! I told her, "please, mine you own
business!" Who would believe her anyway?

Dahil it's not my problem anymore but her problem anymore, tumigil na
rin siya ng panggugulo. Everything is coming up daisies. I'm so happy.
Even my boyfriend said liketwice. He's so supportive. Sabi niya, "Look
at is this way. She's our of our lives."

Kaya advise ko sa inyo - take the risk. You can never can tell. Just
burn the bridge when you get there. Life is shorts. If you make a
mistake, we'll just pray for the internal and external repose of your
soul. I second emotion.


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Old 08-28-2007, 21:28   #2
chocnut
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shocks, this is quite an exercise in reading comprehension
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Old 08-28-2007, 21:45   #3
Allegra
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Yup , yan ang panalo!
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Old 08-28-2007, 22:24   #4
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Phew!

Another one, this time Commonwealth-vintage from a school teacher, which I read in the Philippine Star some years ago (feel free to correct it):

Sir, I would like to resignate from my position because my works are many and my salaries are few, besides my supervisor makes lovings to me but I say Not! Not! Not!
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Old 08-29-2007, 00:13   #5
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eto na ang part 2, dito may names na. kumbaga, makikilala ninyo kung sino ang lalaki sa istorya ire, binata pa siya noon (panahon ng hapon). lilinawin ko lang na ang babaeng sumulat ay nadivorce sa bandang huli. matinik itong si dante talaga

I thought Dante's ex-girlfriend was really out of our lives. But heaven
only goes that I was wrong. Kakakasal pa lang namin nun when Dante
received a uninamous text. "Meet me at the clinic." I had a stinking
feeling in my butt. I told him not to go. It might in danger him. Pero
sabi niya, ok lang daw because life is what we make. Tumahimik lang
ako. Sabi niya, "Penny for you talks." But I didn't know what to say.
Beggars can't be losers. Isa pa, worried talaga ako na baka yung girl
yun. Dante said, "Can't got your tongue?" I tried to smile at him. Kahit
di ako nagsalita, actions speak louder than works, di ba?

Be that as is may, umalis pa rin siya. I was out of the loophole.
After a few hours, I called him on his cellphone. But my calls fell on
Jeff's ears. Lalo akong nag-worry kasi I didn't even know Jeff. Sabi
na nga ba di na dapat umalis si Dante. That's what I'm talking about it.

So I tried calling some friends who will help me find Dante. That's what
friends are for naman di ba? But I just faced a blank mall. I had to
do this alone. Nag-taxi na lang ako. Pero ang mahal na pala ng plug
down rate.

When I got to the clinic, the security was really buffed up. Di
basta-basta makakapasok. So I said, "I beg your cordon. I'm patient.
It's my favorite virtue nga e." Nagduda yata yung isang guard.
Hinawakan ako sa arm. The nerd! I shouted, "Don't touch me not!" Buti
na lang the other guards were nice and said, "Come on, let's join us."

When I went inside, parang I've been there, done there. Nung walang
nakatingin, nag-explore ako. Nakarating ako sa top floor and I had a
bird's IQ of the clinic. I could not explain it but I was drawn to a
room on the floor. Siguro Divine Intermission na yun.

Parang may narinig akong umuungol. I was thorn. Di ko alam kung aalis
ba ako o papasukin ko. It made me stick in the stomach to think that
Dante and his ex-girlfriend were there. I tried to tell myself to slower
my expectations. But to tell with it! I had to strike while the iron
is not. I had to hear the truth from the corpse's mouth. I barraged
in. O my gas! Si Dante, naka-strap sa operating table, parang genie pig
sa isang nakakatakot na experiment. He was on the cutting edge. He was
bleeding. At ang doctor na nagpapahirap sa kanya, ang ex-girlfriend
niya at ang bago nitong boyfriend, ang nurse na si Walter. Doon ko
napatunayang blood is thicker than Walter.

Guess watch? Di ko alam kung paano ko nagawa pero I was able to search
and rescue Dante. Siguro adrenaline brush na yun.

Now, he's recovering. Nag-sorry siya na hindi siya nakinig sa akin. I
know it's a better pill to swallow your fried so it's forgive and
forget me not. All swell that end swell. I know we should kiss and put
on makeup.

Ang ex-girlfriend naman niya at si Walter, nakakulong na. Detention is
really better than cure. So the moral of the lesson is: if symptoms
persist, insult your doctor.

joke joke joke bwahahahha
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Last edited by 9MX; 08-29-2007 at 00:18..
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Old 08-29-2007, 00:20   #6
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Mukhang ako dinadale ah!

Waits lang. I will just buys more Englishes.
Saka nako sasagot. Punta pa'ko Trinoma. Habol coding.
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Old 08-29-2007, 00:22   #7
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Quote:
Originally posted by pogi
Mukhang ako dinadale ah!

Waits lang. I will just buys more Englishes.
Saka nako sasagot. Punta pa'ko Trinoma. Habol coding.
syado ka naman assuming, hindi lang naman ikaw ang dante in the pilipins
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Old 08-29-2007, 00:40   #8
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Old 08-29-2007, 02:26   #9
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Plus the famous saying to somebody who, despite advice, went and got into a sticky situation:

I TOLD YOU NOT TO GO TO, YOU GO TO, NOW LOOK AT!
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Old 08-29-2007, 02:48   #10
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Ayos!

Wala lang sana hihirit ng English translation
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Old 08-29-2007, 03:03   #11
CatsMeow
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Hey, can I save and print them both? I need some comic relief from solving other people's problems.
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Old 08-29-2007, 06:09   #12
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Re: Winner ang English!!

Quote:
Originally posted by 9MX
We' ve been friends for a long time ago. We come from the same alma
mother. Actually, our paths crossed one time on another. But it's only
now that I gave him a second look. I realized that beauty is in the
eyes. The pulpbits of my heart went fast, really fast. Cute pala siya.
And then, he came over with me. He said, "I hope you don't mine. Can I
get your number?" Nag-worry ako. What if he doesn't give it back? He
explained naman na it's so we could keep intact daw. Sabi ko, connect
me if i'm wrong but are you asking me ouch? Nabigla siya. Sagot niya,
The! Aba! Parang siya pa ang galit! Persona ingrata!!! Ang kapal niya!
I cried buckles of tears.

Na-guilty yata siya. Sabi niya, isipin mo na lang na this is a
blessing in the sky. Irregardless daw of his feelings, we'll go ouch
na rin. Now, we're so in love. Mute and epidemic na ang past. Thanks
God we swallowed our fried. Kasi, I'm 33 na and I'm running our time.
After 2 weeks, he plopped the question. "Will you marriage me?" I'm in
a state of shocked. Kasi mantakin mo, when it rains, it's four! This
is true good to be true. So siyempre, I said yes. Love is a many splendor.

Pero nung inaayos ko na ang aming kasal, everything swell to pieces.
Nag-di-dinner kami noon nang biglang sa harap ng aming table, may
babaeng humirit ng, "Well, well, well. Look do we have here." What the
fuss! The nerd ng babaeng yon! She said they were still on. So I told
her, whatever is that, cut me some slacks! I didn't want this to get
our hand kaya I had to sip it in the bud. She accused me of steeling
her boyfriend. Ats if! I don't want to portrait the role of the other
woman. Gosh, tell me to the marines! I told her, "please, mine you own
business!" Who would believe her anyway?

Dahil it's not my problem anymore but her problem anymore, tumigil na
rin siya ng panggugulo. Everything is coming up daisies. I'm so happy.
Even my boyfriend said liketwice. He's so supportive. Sabi niya, "Look
at is this way. She's our of our lives."

Kaya advise ko sa inyo - take the risk. You can never can tell. Just
burn the bridge when you get there. Life is shorts. If you make a
mistake, we'll just pray for the internal and external repose of your
soul. I second emotion.


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Old 08-29-2007, 06:58   #13
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My headache concurred. I ceased and deceased reading the second fart.
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Old 08-29-2007, 07:11   #14
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Quote:
Originally posted by CatsMeow
Hey, can I save and print them both? I need some comic relief from solving other people's problems.
paalam ka muna kay dante

seriously, no problem. i just got them from a chainmail din
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Old 08-29-2007, 07:28   #15
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Galeng hahaha
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Old 08-29-2007, 08:00   #16
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Wait a monument, what is all the locomotion here. Oh I see, it is a joke. Can I enjoy you at laughing?
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Old 08-29-2007, 20:38   #17
pogi
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Quote:
Originally posted by 9MX
syado ka naman assuming, hindi lang naman ikaw ang dante in the pilipins
ow, i taught i am being heat. Donut naman pala.
The MOYA-L of the stories is: if your wife tolds you NOT to MOVE...YOU DONUT MOVEMENT. Perform your duty as if you are education. Because her loving to you is gigantic, her decision making must be reflected.
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Old 08-29-2007, 20:43   #18
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Quote:
Originally posted by 9MX
paalam ka muna kay dante

seriously, no problem. i just got them from a chainmail din
Tenks! I just wanted to paalamize muna...
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Old 08-29-2007, 22:09   #19
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english

graduation speech of a proud father. " I am very happiness today because my son is graduation day. i will kill a boy carabao and all my chicken i will die. i will invite you to eat my house and i will eat you one by one." a favorite teacher in elementary," if you do not silence, i will tie you to the flag ceremony!" a classmate in high school, " pls. pass the sugar, my hands cannot arive."
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Old 08-29-2007, 23:53   #20
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Quote:
Originally posted by pogi
ow, i taught i am being heat. Donut naman pala.
The MOYA-L of the stories is: if your wife tolds you NOT to MOVE...YOU DONUT MOVEMENT. Perform your duty as if you are education. Because her loving to you is gigantic, her decision making must be reflected.
hanep ka magpatawa, para kang kalbo ah
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