Name That Johnson
This guy walks into a bar and two steps in, he realizes it's a g@y bar, but decides what the heck, I really want a drink. A g@y waiter approaches and he say to the customer, "What's the name of your johnson? The customer says "Look, I'm not into any of that. All I want is a drink." The g@y waiter says, "I'm sorry, but I can't serve you until you tell me the name of your johnson. Mine, for instance, is called Nike, for the slogan 'Just Do It'. That guy down at the end of the bar calls his Snickers, because 'It really Satisfies'.
The customer looks dumbfounded so the bartender tells him he will give him a second to think it over. So the customer turns to the man sitting to his left, who is sipping on a beer, and asks, "Hey, bud, what's the name of your johnson?" The man to the left, with a smile, looks back and says, "TIMEX."
The thirsty customer asks, "Why Timex?" The fella proudly replies, "Cause it takes a lickin' and keeps on tickin!" A little shaken, the customer turns to the fella on his right sipping on a fruity margarita. "So, what do you call your johnson?" The man to his right turns to him and proudly exclaims, "FORD, because quality is Job #1." Then adds, "Have you driven a FORD lately?"
Even more shaken, the customer has to think for a moment before he comes up with a name for his johnson. He turns to the bartender and exclaims, "The name of my johnson is Secret. Now give me my beer." The bartender begins to pour the customer a beer, but with a puzzled look asks, "Why Secret?" The customer says, "Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman."