"Politically Correct Statements for the New Century"
*Your bedroom isn't cluttered, it's just "passage restrictive."
*Kids don't get grounded anymore. They merely hit "social speed bumps."
*You're not late, you just have a "rescheduled arrival time."
*You're not having a bad hair day, you're suffering from "rebellious follicle syndrome."
*No one's tall anymore. They're "vertically enhanced."
*You're not shy. You're "conversationally selective."
*You don't talk a lot. You're just "abundantly verbal."
*It's not called gossip anymore. It's "the speedy transmission of near-factual information."
AND FOR STUDENTS...
*The food at the school cafeteria isn't awful. It's "digestively challenged."
*No one fails a class anymore, he's merely "passing impaired."
*You don't have detention, you're just one of the "exit delayed."
*These days, a student isn't lazy. He's "energetically declined."
*Your locker isn't overflowing with junk, it's just "closure prohibitive."
*Your homework isn't missing, it's just having an "out-of-notebook experience."
*You're not sleeping in class, you're "rationing consciousness."
*You don't have smelly gym socks, you have "odor-retentive athletic footwear."
*You weren't passing notes in class. You were "participating in the discreet exchange of penned meditations."
*You're not being sent to the principal's office. You're "going on a mandatory field trip to the administrative building."
Via Langalist, from the Internet At Large......
I am slowly falling apart - I wish you'd take a walk in my shoes for a start. You might think it's easy being me ... Sometimes I find myself shaking - In the middle of the night. And then it hits me and I can't - Even believe this is my life
(The Wreckers; "Stand Still; Look Pretty")