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Old 05-30-2002, 21:37   #1
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Inertia Bound
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Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: In my head
Posts: 14,935

"Politically Correct Statements for the New Century"

*Your bedroom isn't cluttered, it's just "passage restrictive."

*Kids don't get grounded anymore. They merely hit "social speed bumps."

*You're not late, you just have a "rescheduled arrival time."

*You're not having a bad hair day, you're suffering from "rebellious follicle syndrome."

*No one's tall anymore. They're "vertically enhanced."

*You're not shy. You're "conversationally selective."

*You don't talk a lot. You're just "abundantly verbal."

*It's not called gossip anymore. It's "the speedy transmission of near-factual information."


*The food at the school cafeteria isn't awful. It's "digestively challenged."

*No one fails a class anymore, he's merely "passing impaired."

*You don't have detention, you're just one of the "exit delayed."

*These days, a student isn't lazy. He's "energetically declined."

*Your locker isn't overflowing with junk, it's just "closure prohibitive."

*Your homework isn't missing, it's just having an "out-of-notebook experience."

*You're not sleeping in class, you're "rationing consciousness."

*You don't have smelly gym socks, you have "odor-retentive athletic footwear."

*You weren't passing notes in class. You were "participating in the discreet exchange of penned meditations."

*You're not being sent to the principal's office. You're "going on a mandatory field trip to the administrative building."
Via Langalist, from the Internet At Large......
I am slowly falling apart - I wish you'd take a walk in my shoes for a start. You might think it's easy being me ... Sometimes I find myself shaking - In the middle of the night. And then it hits me and I can't - Even believe this is my life
(The Wreckers; "Stand Still; Look Pretty")
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