[RoadRep]

On his recent tour of Australia, the Pope took a couple of days off his itinerary to visit the wild outdoors of northern Australia on an impromptu safari. Deep into the bush, his 4X4 Pope-mobile, was driving alongside a river when there was an enormous commotion heard up ahead. They rushed to see what it was and upon approaching the scene the Pope noticed in the river, a hapless man wearing a New Zealand football top, struggling frantically to free himself from the jaws of a twenty foot crocodile.

At that moment a speedboat containing three men wearing green & gold football tops roared into view from around a bend in the river. Spontaneously, one of the men took aim and fired a harpoon into the croc's ribs, immobilising it instantly. The other two reached and pulled the Kiwi from the river and using long clubs beat the croc to death. They bundled the bleeding, semi conscious man into the speed boat along with the dead croc and then prepared for a hasty retreat, when they heard frantic shouting from the shore.

It was of course the Pope, and he summoned them to the river bank. Upon them reaching the shore the Pope went into raptures about the rescue and said: "I give you my blessing for your brave actions. I had heard there were some racist xenophobic people trying to divide Australia & New Zealand, but, now I have seen with my own eyes this is not true. I can see your society is a truly enlightened example of racial harmony and could serve as a model on which other nations could follow."

He blessed them all and drove off in a cloud of dust.

As he departed, the harpoonist asked the others: 'Who was that???!"

"That," one answered, "was his Holiness the Pope. He is in direct contact with God and has access to all God's wisdom."

Well," the harpoonist replied, "He knows **** about croc hunting! How's that bait holding up or do we need to get another one?"

[ChaZ]

Many years ago, I remember Pope's visit to Greenland and then to Canada.

Many Canadians were excited. Well, most of catholics were. They worked so hard decorating the arrival destination with lots of flowers and banners with crosses on them. All catholic canadians were grouped together at the airport. Then the loudspeaker made an announcement that the pope will be one hour late.

Disgruntled, they prayed for his speedy arrival then an hour later. The speaker again said the pope will be an hour late.

Some left, but most of them stayed vigilant to see the arrival of pope. An hour later, the speaker said that there was some sort of "difficulty" that happened in greenland but pope will come for sure in an hour.

They were worried and prayed even harder, that things will work out. Finally the papal plane arrived. They all screamed jubilantly and waved their canadian flags as the plane door opened and the staircase was placed in position.

Pope came out, and it look like he was holding a block of ice in front of his head. At first the Canadians were confused because it was a normal custom for a pope to kiss the ground upon the arrival. A new change in custom?

The loudspeaker went on, and said "Sorry, pope will be unable to kiss our land as you can see, he tried to do that in greenland and there was some difficulty in removing the ice off his hands and his lips!"