Law of Mechanical Repair After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or youíll have to pee.
Law of the Workshop Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
Law of Probability The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
Law of the Telephone If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.
Law of the Alibi If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
Variation Law If you change lines (or traffic lanes) the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).
Law of the Bath When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
Law of Close Encounters The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you donít want to be seen with.
Law of the Result When you try to prove to someone that a machine wonít work, it will.
Law of Biomechanics The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
Law of the Theater At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.
Law of Coffee As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
Murphyís Law of Lockers If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
Law of Rugs/Carpets The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.
Law of Location No matter where you go, there you are.
Law of Logical Argument Anything is possible if you donít know what you are talking about.
Brownís Law If the shoe fits, itís ugly.
Oliverís Law A closed mouth gathers no feet .
Wilsonís Law As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it. (This one is true every time!)
Doctorsí Law If you donít feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there youíll feel better. Donít make an appointment and youíll stay sick.. (This one is also true every time.)
Don't dial 911, dial 1911
If you don't stand behind our troops, PLEASE feel free to stand in front of them!
Schiit audio, everything else ain't.