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Old 08-02-2002, 23:03   #1
Anniegetyourgun
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What did the snail say from the back of the turtle?

WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!! ;f
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Old 08-02-2002, 23:04   #2
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Re: What did the snail say from the back of the turtle?

Quote:
Originally posted by Anniegetyourgun
WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!! ;f
Sharyn, you been in the medicine cabinet again? ;g
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Old 08-02-2002, 23:06   #3
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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender asks, "Why such the long face?"
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Old 08-02-2002, 23:07   #4
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lack of sleep does funny things to you Mom... what can I say laughter is teh best medicine!
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Old 08-02-2002, 23:09   #5
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paxil
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Old 08-02-2002, 23:10   #6
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Quote:
Originally posted by Cinic
A horse walks into a bar. Bartender asks, "Why such the long face?"
My son used to say that all the time.

If I'd say, "you're joking" he'd say, "no, If I were joking I'd say, a horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "why such a long face."

I love that joke. ;f

Sharyn, take a snort and go to bed. You'll feel better in the morning. ;g
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"The liberty we prize is not America's gift to the world, it is God's gift to humanity." GWB

"The 1st Amendment guarantees you a voice. It does not guarantee you an audience.

And lack of an audience is not an infringement on your voice....it's a judgment on it." Goalie

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Old 08-02-2002, 23:14   #7
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Can I have what Annie's been smoking? ;f
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Old 08-02-2002, 23:14   #8
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One day a fellow came into a country cafe with both ears bandaged. A friend asked him what happened.

Yesterday while I was ironing a shirt the telephone rang and I accidentally answered with the iron instead of the phone the man replied...

That explains one ear his friend said but what happened to the other?

Well... they called back;Q
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Old 08-02-2002, 23:15   #9
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I'll share tristin just dont tell anyone else..then they'll all want some;f ;f
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Old 08-02-2002, 23:17   #10
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A puzzle for you.

When ducks migrate south for the winter, they fly in a 'V' shaped pattern. Sometimes one side of the 'V' is longer than the other. Why is that you ask?




















More ducks.
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Old 08-02-2002, 23:18   #11
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ok cinic needs a puff .. his are lamer (word?) then mine!!!;f
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Old 08-02-2002, 23:21   #12
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A young boy comes home from school and his dad asks him how his day was. The boy tells his dad that he learned two new words. Potentially and Realistically. He also told his dad that he still didn't understand what the words meant.

The dad told his son to go ask his older sister if she'd sleep with a man for 1 million dollars. The boy did as his dad asked and his sister answered yes.

The boy reported back to his dad and the dad told the boy to ask the same question of his mother. The boy did and the mother said yes.

The boy told his dad that he didn't understand why the question was important.

The dad answered, "well son, potentially we are sitting on 2 million bucks, realistically, we're living with a couple of ho's.

;f

That's for you Comp!
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"The liberty we prize is not America's gift to the world, it is God's gift to humanity." GWB

"The 1st Amendment guarantees you a voice. It does not guarantee you an audience.

And lack of an audience is not an infringement on your voice....it's a judgment on it." Goalie

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Old 08-02-2002, 23:21   #13
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The heat is apparently getting to all of you.
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Old 08-02-2002, 23:22   #14
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A pirate walks into a bar. Typical pirate... wooden leg, hook where his hand used to be, a patch over one eye, and a parrot on his shoulder.
The bartender asks "How'd you lose your leg?"
Pirate says "a cannonball from a British man-o'-war."
Bartender asks "how'd you lose your hand?"
Pirate says "I was boardin' a British man-o'-war, when a British seaman took it off with his cutlass".
Bartender asks "how'd ya lose the eye?"
Pirate says "me bird pooped in me eye".
Bartender says "bird poop took your eye out???"
"Naw" says the pirate... "It was me first day with me hook!"
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Old 08-02-2002, 23:22   #15
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Quote:
Originally posted by Tristan
The heat is apparently getting to all of you.
Sarcasm on: Ya think?????

Sarcasm off: ;f
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Keep your feet and knees together, and your powder dry...

"The liberty we prize is not America's gift to the world, it is God's gift to humanity." GWB

"The 1st Amendment guarantees you a voice. It does not guarantee you an audience.

And lack of an audience is not an infringement on your voice....it's a judgment on it." Goalie

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Old 08-02-2002, 23:24   #16
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rfb!!! ROFLMAO!!!! I LIKE IT!;f
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Old 08-02-2002, 23:27   #17
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During the early days of the model T ford, a salesman was traveling through the mountains of eastern Kentucky. The roads were narrow and not maintained very well. The salesman soon realized he was hopelessly lost.

He saw an old mountaineer along the side of the road, so he stopped and asked, "How do you get to Lousville from here?"
the Mountaineer replied....









Most of the time my son-in-law takes me...


OH come on.. it wasn't that bad!!!!!;a
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Old 08-02-2002, 23:28   #18
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Gads!!!

I thought I was whacko.....course look at the time....it's dayum near 1:30am here.....

Sharyn's 3 hours behind, heck the sun's still up out west....!!

It's Friday night and the moon may be full.....
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Old 08-02-2002, 23:28   #19
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A man is in a bar, drinking. After a few drinks, he decides to get a tattoo that says "I love you" on his johnson.

Proud of his new tat, he goes home to his wife. After realizing his tat she goes ballistic.

She yells "I cook for you, I clean for you, I do your laundry, I will do anything for you, but one thing I will not have you doing is putting words in my mouth."

da da ding.
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Old 08-02-2002, 23:29   #20
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Compy, that is f'n hilarious! ;f
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Old 08-02-2002, 23:31   #21
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A guy with two black eyes walks into a bar.

Bartender says "what happened... where'd ya get those shiners?"

"In church" he says.

"CHURCH???" says the bartender. "Who hit you in church???".

"The lady in front of me... her dress got caught in the crack of her ass... and she was too embarrassed to pull it out... so I discreetly did it for her. She smacked me for my trouble".

"How'd ya get the other one?" asked the bartender... "her boyfriend?"

"Nope... I figured she wanted it there... so I put it back".
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Old 08-02-2002, 23:31   #22
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****Sharyn shaking her head at compensate this**** geeesh.. thats bad comp.. really it is!;f

Peachie; its only 10:30 here but it was a loooong day and I can't sleep though I have to get my big butt out of bed at 5 a.m! Im trying to wear myself out!
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Old 08-02-2002, 23:49   #23
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A father watched his daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and innocent his little girl was. Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to her and noticed she was looking at two spiders mating. "Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?" she asked. "They're mating," her father replied. "What do you call the spider on top, Daddy?" she asked. "That's a daddy longlegs." Her father answered. "So, the other one is a mommy longlegs?" the little girl asked. "No," her father replied. "Both of them are daddy longlegs." The little girl thought for a moment, then took her foot and stomped them flat.
"Well, we're not having THAT sort of ***** in our garden."
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Old 08-02-2002, 23:50   #24
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Quote:
Originally posted by Anniegetyourgun
****Sharyn shaking her head at compensate this**** geeesh.. thats bad comp.. really it is!;f

Peachie; its only 10:30 here but it was a loooong day and I can't sleep though I have to get my big butt out of bed at 5 a.m! Im trying to wear myself out!
Run around the block and then vacuum the house, silly. ;f
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Keep your feet and knees together, and your powder dry...

"The liberty we prize is not America's gift to the world, it is God's gift to humanity." GWB

"The 1st Amendment guarantees you a voice. It does not guarantee you an audience.

And lack of an audience is not an infringement on your voice....it's a judgment on it." Goalie

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Old 08-03-2002, 00:15   #25
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Bill and Frank go hunting. Suddenly Frank grabs his chest and falls over. Bill pulls out his cell phone and dials 911. He tells the dispatcher "I think my friend is dead! What do I do?" She says "First make sure he is dead." She hears a shot, then Bill says "Okay. What do we do now?"


Scott

;b
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